LESSONS FROM DAD

Some of my best memories with my dad involve late-night food runs, just the two of us. Having that one-on-one time with him, even if it was just over a little meal, was special. Sometimes it was just because he saw a taco bell commercial, and other times it was a chance for spontaneous father-daughter time.

Once in high school he brought me to Perkins at midnight, because he knew I was upset over a boy. And he gave me the best advice, reminding me that it was better to have a bunch of guy friends instead, because there's no one to be jealous if you have other guy friends. Of course that advice simultaneously accomplished his fatherly duty of encouraging me not to date until I was at least 25 (sometimes it was 40). But through these late night talks and 18 years under his roof, I have learned so much from my dad.

Here are just a few of the many lessons I have learned from him:

1. Have confidence. 

Growing up I always envied my dad's confidence. When he walked into a room, he walked in like he owned the place--and not in an arrogant overly-self assured way. He is the kind of person that can talk to anyone, no matter the situation, and 99% of the time he is making them laugh. I knew at a young age that I wanted to be like that, and I continually aspire to be as charismatic as he is.

2. Be outgoing. 

My dad taught me to have a firm handshake. He said first impressions mean a lot, and a handshake can say a lot about a person. This one goes hand-in-hand with having confidence, because if you think about it being outgoing is really showing others that you have the confidence to engage with them and really communicate. He also taught me leadership through this, which has taken me a long way already.

3. It's okay to be silly.

As a kid I always thought it was embarrassing that my dad was so silly around my friends and when we were in public. But he always managed to make people laugh, and even friends that only met my dad one time would tell me how funny he was.

4. Do not care about what other people think.

Caring about other people think limits you. If you are constantly worried about what other people think, you aren't being yourself. So if my dad wants to act like he's five or talk in an accent that doesn't actually exist for a while, I'm going to support him. What's that one quote, the people that matter won't mind, and the people that mind don't matter? It's true.

5. Find humor in every situation.

Sometimes it frustrates me when I feel like he isn't taking something seriously or tries to make a joke out of everything. But one of my goals for this year has been to stop taking life so seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and being able to find humor in any situation makes the hard times a little easier.

6. Hard work produces results. 

My dad has one of the best work ethics I have ever seen. He is one of the best in his field, and I can see why. Very few people have the dedication and commitment to work as hard as my dad does. It is part of what makes him the best. He knows what it takes to be a successful businessman, and he has the personality to make things happen. Every once in a while, I hope he remembers that it is okay to take a break, and not stress so much about how business is going.

7. Sometimes you have to do things you don't like so that you can do things you do like.

Whenever I am frustrated with a job or school, he reminds me that I am doing this now so that I don't have to do it later. He taught me to be ambitious and have big dreams. But even at your dream job, you are not going to like every second of what you are doing. So he showed me how special the times you are doing what you enjoy can be when you put in the work to make those times possible.


Well, here I am a little teary eyed in a Starbucks by one of the most beautiful places in Madison, because I miss my dad. I needed to go away for college--it has been good for me. But sometimes I can't help but stop and think about how much I miss our talks or when we watch movies together.

And Dad, I know you urged me to pursue a career in science, but don't forget you sparked my love for movies and television. Maybe one day one of the many shows you DVR will be something I worked on. I promise to take everything you have taught me with me wherever I end up and in whatever I end up doing with my life. More than anything, I want you to know how grateful I am for everything you do, and how lucky I am to be your daughter. I love you, Padre.

Happy Father's Day!
Daughtré

TOP 10 FAVORITE TV COUPLES

*Spoiler Alert* I apologize if you have one of these shows on your to-watch list, and you don't already know that these couples get together. But when you watch it actually happen, I promise it will still be magical, because these couples are meant to be. 

10. April and Andy // Parks and Rec

Admittedly, I was a little weirded out when April first had a crush on Andy. But as soon as I realized how perfect they actually are for each other, I was on board. 

9. Marshall and Lily // How I Met Your Mother

Forget Ted. Marshall and Lily are my favorite part about this show. They really get each other, and they are always supportive of each other, no matter what ridiculous idea Marshall has. 

8. Mindy and Danny  // The Mindy Project

Mindy had a few different boyfriends before Danny. Then they went through the whole "will they, won't they thing" for a while--which is always exciting, yet frustrating. Mindy's old boyfriends were okay, but I am team Danny and Mindy forever. 

7. Brooke and Julian // One Tree Hill

Brooke Davis is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. Seeing her happiness with Julian was one of my favorite parts of this whole series. Every girl dreams that a man would love her as much as Julian loves Brooke. This is the stuff in fairytales. 

6. Ben and Leslie // Parks and Rec

Who wouldn't love a guy got eclairs in the shape of the first letter of their name? (Hint to future love-interests: I feel like a T wouldn't be that difficult to make happen). Plus, Ben resigns from his job just so that they can be together. That's commitment. 

5. Nick and Jess // New Girl

I swear they are meant to be together, and I don't understand why they would ever break up. These two are great friends and all, but I think they are much better in a relationship. 

4. Monica and Chandler // Friends

Ross and Rachel are overrated. The real couple in this show is Monica and Chandler. I mean look at them; they are perfect together. 

3. Jim and Pam // The Office

Just look at the way he looks at her. As I said in one of my recent posts, work relationships might not be the best idea, unless you are Jim and Pam. I fully support this relationship. 

2. Blair and Chuck // Gossip Girl

Admittedly, Chuck and Blair have a somewhat rocky past. But the couple you should be rooting for is never Dan and Serena. These two are a power couple. 

1. Nathan and Haley // One Tree Hill

It's crazy, because when the show starts this seems like the least-likely combination. It never even crossed my mind that they might become friends. Her best friend just happens to be his enemy (and half brother). Yet, these two ended up being my favorite TV couple of all time. 

These are only a few of the fictional relationships that I have loved watch develop. They have made me smile and laugh. And I can only hope that some day I have a relationship with this level of awesomeness. 

What are some of your favorite TV romances?

A LOVE LETTER TO SUMMER

Dear Summer,

I have never been in love. I have been in lust (as you can see here, here, and here). But with you it's different. I promise this isn't something I say to every other season.

The time I spend with you is extra special, because I know it cannot last forever. But the truth is I am happiest when you are around. You invite endless adventure and time to do everything I put off during the rest of the year. My smile is a little bit brighter when I'm with you. And I get a little sad when I think about what it will be like without you, but I am appreciative of the time I have with you now. 

I could spend hours gazing at the lakes on the warm summer nights. Mornings by the lake are serene. Afternoons by the lake are lively. And nights by the lake are a part of some of my favorite memories. 

I know our relationship isn't always healthy, but sometimes you just want a little danger in your life for the thrill of it. You know? I'm tempted to forget the SPF 30, because of the beautiful glow I know I could have. But I know it's not good for me.

It makes me giddy just thinking about all the fun times we still have ahead of us. The late night talks that last until we are convinced we have uncovered the meaning of life at 3am. The random ice cream runs, because it is too hot to eat anything else. And the spontaneous adventures that turn into stories we will tell for years.

I'm usually not one to broadcast my relationships, but I want the world to know about our love affair. I am madly and hopelessly in love with you, Summer.

 

BLOGGING WITH PURPOSE

Blogging ignites my fire. It brings me joy to press publish. It fuels my creativity and sparks my imagination. It pushes me be successful and it inspires me to be greater. Blogging is not simply typing your thoughts and presenting it to whomever comes across it on the Internet.

Blogging is reading other blogs. Blogging is taking creative pictures with the intention of editing them into posts. Blogging is being part of a creative community that supports and encourages each others growth.

Technically, I have been blogging since the Fall of 2011. But it wasn't until a year ago that I really got into it and learned how much of a blogging community is out there. Since then, I have drastically changed my approach to blogging. I try not to write only when feeling inspired. When I have the time, I actively think of ideas and browse blogs and online magazines, hoping to come up with an idea of my own. I realized that I am blogging with a purpose. I have intentions of inspiring other people creatively, and I know that there are certain things that I have to do if I want to accomplish that goal. 

Here are some of the things I think you have to do to blog with purpose:

Spend time reading other blogs. First of all, there is so much you can learn from other bloggers. People like Brittany (from The Kardia), Gina (from Gina Alyse), and Jessica (from The Blogging Brew), continually inspire me. Not only do they have great advice about blogging, but their creativity motivates me to push my creative boundaries. This part is non-negotiable. Reading other blogs will help you come up with new ideas, know what is popular in the blogosphere, and make meaningful connections with people across the world. 

Engage with other bloggers. Who knew that you could make such personal connections with people you might have never met in real life? I feel like I know some of these ladies after reading their blogs, and engaging with them on social media or via email. Just sending a friendly email to tell someone how much you enjoy their blog can go a long way. Likewise, try to regularly leave genuine comments that show you really connected with their content. 

Create a mission. This is one of the biggest parts of blogging with a purpose. Why are you blogging? What is driving you to create content to share with other people? It doesn't necessarily have to be written out, but it will definitely help if you establish it for yourself. If you want your readers to take away a certain message or feel a certain way after reading your blog, you need to keep that in mind every time you blog. You should ask yourself, "Does this post align with the goals of my blog?" 

Always have pictures. Jana from Life Could Be a Dream has a great post about how to create Pin-worthy images. As I said, Pinterest has been one the biggest drivers of traffic to my blog, so creating Pin-worthy images is really important. 

Utilize social media. Anyone in the blogosphere will tell you that if you are really dedicated to blogging, your social media will reflect that. This includes regularly tweeting, posting on a Facebook page for your blog, being on Bloglovin, updating your Instagram, and Pinning your content. Social media is a great way to interact with other bloggers and get your content out there. My Pin of "7 Things I Never Want My Little Sister to Feel" has been repinned over 800 times, liked almost 400 times, and because of that it has almost 13,000 pageviews. It is my most successful post to date, and it has been amazing to see it take off. That is the power of Pinterest. 

Know your resources. Some days I feel like I am underutilizing my blogging resources. I wish took more pictures. I wish I spent more time learning Adobe Illustrator. And I really wish I could make a blog schedule and stick to it already. I keep telling myself I am going to make a blog planner, because I think I could be a lot more successful if I did. Part of blogging with purpose is making it a part of your regular routine, so that you can grow trust with readers and foster a community. Blogging is as big of a commitment as you make it, but know that if you want your blog to grow, you have to put in the time and show your dedication. Gina Alyse has a great post on Must-Have Creative Resources of Lifestyle Bloggers! 

Remind readers of your purpose. Every once in a while I like to say, "Since my blog is about encouraging other people to pursue their passions..." One, it lets new readers know what to expect out of a lot of my posts. And two, it reminds people of what I ultimately want them to take away from reading my blog. 

Write what you would want to read. What haven't you read that you have always wondered about? It really isn't difficult to find blogs; they are everywhere! There are so many bloggers that have written about so many topics. But if you have a mission to your blog, creating content specific to your goals for your blog should be much easier. Sometimes I don't post simply because I don't have anything to write about, but there is always something that you can uniquely add to a conversation or share from a personal experience. 

How do you blog with purpose?

CURRENTLY // JUNE '15

Listening to // "I Need Your Love" by Shaggy. I heard this song on the radio the other day and instantly loved it. The lyrics are pretty simple--it says "I need your love" a million times. It's a good one, though. 

Shopping for// I have been focusing on eating more fruits and vegetables lately, so I was excited when my mom wanted to go to the Farmers Market when I got home. My little sister loves her fruits and vegetables, but I think she was most excited over the cheese samples. As soon as we got there she announced that she wanted the cheese you could eat with toothpicks. 

Watching // "Parks and Rec." I love Amy Poehler. She is one of my idols, and I have been meaning to watch it for the longest time. Hopefully I will be able to watch the whole series this summer.

Following // Shaylen Carroll on Vine. Wow her voice is great. I don't go on Vine that often, but when I do I am always so impressed. One of my favorites on Vine is "Us the Duo." I saw them for the first time last summer when they opened for Eric Hutchison during a short concert for Oake on the Water.

Working on // Learning calligraphy. I have wanted to learn this forever. I plan on spending some time practicing this summer.

Playing //  Lately I have been trying to get better at volley ball, because a lot of my friends seem to be pretty good at it. Last week my friend Jessie and I sat on the sidelines and colored, because we were too tired to play. We made signs cheering on the teams with names like "Glitz and Glamor" and "Why Do You Like Fishsticks?" It was a good time. 

Reading // "Screenwriting Tips, You Hack." I have been trying to get through this book for a while now. I really enjoy reading it, but I feel like I need to dedicate more time to actually practice the things I am reading.

Writing // I keep telling myself that I am going to practice screenwriting. My goal by the end of the summer is to be doing it a few times a week. For now, I am trying to get some posts out and practicing when I can.

Catching up on // My sleep schedule has been turned upside down by work. One day I will sleep four-five hours and the next day I will sleep for ten hours. Thankfully work is settling down, so hopefully I will be able to establish a better sleep schedule.

What have you been up to lately?

THE ETHICS OF CRUSHES

My first crush was Tyler in the first grade. He lived in my neighborhood, and we rode the bus together. To be honest, I don't remember much else about him, but at six years old I discovered what it was like to get that little flutter in your heart that says you like someone. Crushes are fun. You can have one or you can have many. They can be someone you see every day or a celebrity that you swoon over every time you see them on the big screen (shoutout to my guy Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Sometimes if you're lucky, a crush can turn into something more. But there can also be gray areas with crushes, and there isn't exactly a rule book on how to deal with some of these things. 

Like most people I have dealt with the confusion and frustrations that can accompany the uncertainty of whether or not a crush could ever return your feelings. As I said, sometimes a crush leads to something more, and maybe you get your happy ever after. But what would happen to all those angsty songs about love and lust if every crush turned into a relationship? Tori Kelly's "All In My Head" perfectly describes the feeling when you start to realize your crush isn't going anywhere. "Time for me to move on now. It was probably just a silly crush anyway. But I just cant help but think that we, we could've had something." These people get us, because everyone experiences these feelings. 

When I stumbled upon this article where John Green discusses why girls shouldn't be put on a pedestal, it got me thinking about how easy that is to do with a crush. Having a crush doesn't have any requirements. You really don't actually have to know that much about a person for a crush to develop. 

crush (n): someone you are infatuated by and have a desire to be in close proximity with*

Sometimes--without meaning to--we start to fill in the gaps with what we want them to be. We imagine what it would be like if they returned our feelings, and we don't actually know what it would be like until we experience it.

At the end of this article about John Green, it thanks him for helping guide us through the ethics of crushes, which got me thinking. What are the the ethics of crushes?

On liking your friends. When you spend a lot of time around someone, you either start to get really annoyed by them or start liking them more and more. I always think of Harry in "When Harry Met Sally" when he tells Sally that men and women can't be friends, because there is always sexual tension--even if just on one side. While I don't know if I believe that, I know that sometimes the lines start to blur, and feelings can develop. But keep in mind, while you can be friends with your exes, if you cross the line with a friend things likely won't be the same as before. 

On celeb crushes. Keep rocking these--unless you have an uncontrollable obsession for any member of One Direction (current or past members), in that case: shut it down. For the most part celebrity crushes are pretty safe. You can watch Ryan Gosling movies all day long and lust after his beautiful smiles, and as Emma Stone so nicely puts, his abs look like they are Photoshopped. 

On liking your coworkers. This is kind of similar to crushing on a close friend. You spend a lot of time together, you think they are really cute, and so the "work-crush" develops. The thing about the "work-crush" is that since you work together, sometimes it is best left as a crush (unless your names are Jim and Pam). 

On admitting feelings for someone other than your SO. This puts you and that other person in an awkward position, and you are not being fair to your SO. If you are not happy with the relationship you are in, that's something that you need to work through and think about whether or not you want to continue it. By telling someone you have feelings for them when you are in a relationship you are saying: (1) I like you, but not enough to risk losing the relationship I am in if you don't feel the same way, and (2) I am going to keep seeing this other person if you don't tell me you feel the same. 

On a person of authority. Let's all take a moment to acknowledge how creepy it would actually be if Ezra and Aria were real people. Pretty Little Liars is fictional for a reason, friends. In real life we wouldn't be cheering this couple on, we would be indulging in the gossip surrounding the fact that a teacher is secretly dating his minor student. Gross. Having a little crush on your young TA with adorable dimples is one thing. But crushes on teachers, bosses, etc. should probably stay as crushes. 

On random crushes. Personally, these are my favorite. That guy that always rings you up in the dining hall. Your friend's friend that you never actually talk to. You know exactly who I am talking about. We might not actually know anything about them, but we perk up just a little when we see them.

The thing about the ethics of crushes is that sometimes your head might want to play by the rules, but your heart has other ideas. Face it: your heart is a rebel, and it wants what it wants. But if your head can stay ahead of your heart, then you are golden. Now, excuse me while I go watch 500 Days of Summer, and pray that some day my Tom comes along (preferably in the form of Joseph Gordon-Levitt).

*My own definition. 

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Unfortunately, sometimes a job is just a job. It is a means to an end, and you might not have any intention of staying in the field you are currently working in. Whether it is a transitional stage in your career or you are trying to make some money to get through college, you have likely had a job that didn't care much about. For some of us, the thought of going to these jobs is something we dread every day. 

My worst-nightmare would be working in the food-industry for the rest of my life. Yet, most of my jobs thus far have involved food in some way or another. I have worked as: 

• A cashier in a grocery store
• A hostess
• An ice cream scooper and "frymaster"*
• A student worker in our Union's cafe
• A student worker in a college dining hall
• A server (or waitress, whatever you would like to call it)

And the biggest thing I have taken away from these jobs is that I will never work in the food industry past college. Since the mission of this blog involves encouraging people to pursue their passions, I decided to write about when it might be time to call it quits at that job you cannot stand. Don't get me wrong, we all have to go through these jobs sometimes, because unfortunately no matter how hard we dream of it money will not magically appear in our bank accounts. But there comes a point when enough is enough, and you need to know when it's time to move on.

It might be time to quit if: 

There is excessive work drama. 

Good coworkers can turn around a bad job. You have someone to vent to and switch shifts with if you really need a day off. Likewise, bad coworkers can make a bad job even worse. It's one thing if coworkers are complaining about how long the day is or that one really sour customer. But if people are talking behind each others' backs or starting rumors at work, it's trouble. You should not have to worry about whether or not you are on so-and-so's good side so they don't trash talk you on their smoke break.

 

The managers are constantly talking down to you.

There is a difference between constructive criticism and treating you like you don't know what you are doing. Keep in mind you were hired for this position, meaning you had to go through an interview process to prove your qualifications for this job. But sometimes no matter how hard you try, there will always be managers that act like nothing is ever good enough for them.

 

The work environment is no longer welcoming.

This one can go hand in hand with the first two. It might be a combination of both, or it might be that everyone seems to be in a perpetually bad mood. Think about it this way: if the manager is always cranky, the employees are likely to let that rub off on them, too. And being surrounded by negativity is draining. It can take a toll on your mental health, and you are likely to bring some of your frustrations home with you.

 

The commute is too much. 

Sometimes the commute to a job is not really worth it. You have to factor in the value of your time, and how much it is costing you to get there. If you make a few less dollars an hour somewhere closer, it might actually not be that big of a difference if you think about how much it is costing you just get to and from a job.

 

Your managers have unrealistic expectations. 

As someone who has worked two jobs while being a full time student, I know that coordinating everything can be difficult. You have to prioritize, and you have to be clear and honest about what you can handle and when you are available. When I got the second job, I explained my situation and they said that they would be flexible, and we could make it work. A couple months into it when one of the managers asked if my other job could schedule me out two months in advance I failed to see the flexibility. Especially seeing as they let me know my schedule the Thursday before a new week started, I would say it was pretty unreasonable to expect any job would schedule that far an advance. 

You have bigger goals.

Eventually, the time comes to let go of the jobs you are sick of working. There comes a point when the money is not worth it anymore. If you have to take a pay cut to work in the field you want to go into, it might worth it. For me, the experience that I am getting at my current job is invaluable. Clearly I still need money to survive, but I am willing to make adjustments and be more careful with my money to get experience in the field I eventually want to have a career in.

It's a pretty funny world we live in. We spend so much of our lives working to live, but if we spend all of our lives working jobs that we hate, is it really all worth it? At the end of my research seminar last year we had a banquet, and one of my fellows who was graduating read this story during his speech about a fisherman who was approached by a businessman. The businessman was confused as to why the fisherman was not out working hard and making a living. By the end, the businessman justifies all the hard work he would have to do by saying that at the end of the day (by retirement) he could sit on the beach and do whatever he wanted, but the fisherman points out that he is already doing this.

Ask yourself this: is what you are doing right now helping you get to where you want to be?

*Once upon a time, I got really good at making french fries. And yes, "Frymaster" was my official title. 

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A MINNESOTAN AT A WISCONSIN SCHOOL

Choosing Madison over the University of Minnesota was a no-brainer for many of us. But our experience here is a little different than people who are from Wisconsin.

When you are a Minnesotan at a Wisconsin school:

You automatically have a connection any time you meet someone else from Minnesota.

You constantly have the "Pop Vs. Soda" debate.

You don't understand why people call drinking fountains "bubblers."

You get asked to say things like "boat" and "bag", as they remind you that you are from "Minnesooooota."

You don't know where to hide your old Minnesota gear, because you wouldn't make it a block in a maroon and gold shirt.

You get asked why you chose to come to Wisconsin rather than stay at the U of M-Twin Cities.
http://i.giphy.com/CMiW9zykTsYJq.gif

Reciprocity is the best thing that ever happened. 

People might assume you can't handle your liquor.

You either have to conform to being a Packer fan or listen to constant smack talk about the Vikings.

At first all of the places in Wisconsin sound the same to you.

You will always be a Minnesotan at heart, but you will never get tired of saying On Wisconsin!