THE SKY'S THE LIMIT--AND OTHER LIES FROM MY CHILDHOOD

Note to readers: read this first paragraph in your head to the tone of one of those commercials that claims you may be "entitled to" something if you had x, y, or z happen to you.

As a child, were you often told things like, "you can be anything you want when you grow up" or "you can do anything you set your mind to?" Did your grandma constantly overwhelm you with love and tell you just how *special* you are? Were you in any way mislead by your parents to believe that you really were one of a kind? If so, you may be entitled to--wait, wait, wait.

This is just what they want. They want us to admit that we are "entitled." Everyone in our generation clearly believes that the world owes them something and that they should be handed free money while they galavant around Europe, yearning to "find themselves" post graduation.

Or at least that's how certain people have described my generation to me.

Now, I'm not off to start a war with my elders. I agree with you--you may be wiser and more experienced than me. But I wish that I would stop hearing people refer to my entire generation as lazy and entitled narcissists.

I reject this notion that technology and social media has made everyone Google-crazed robots who only care about how many likes they got on their latest selfie.

The fact of the matter is social media is here to stay, and we will always have these fancy devices that know way too much about us and track our every move--literally. But I believe that we can use these things to our advantage. 

When we were little, many of us were repeatedly told that we could do or be anything that we wanted. We were given basic ideas at a young age: teacher, doctor, lawyer, police officer. But as we got older, new professions and ways of earning a living started emerging. We started to see ways of living that previous generations never considered.

Now, we can choose from a myriad of paths to go down. You don't have to be a salesman or a dentist. You can be a food blogger, social media strategist, founder/developer of a new popular app, YouTube star, Uber/Lyft driver, and the list goes on and on.

The thing is not everyone accepts these new professions as serious means of making a living. Suddenly, all the 'dream big's become 'think realistically's. Some might not see these unconventional career paths as legitimate.

I'm here to argue that technology has afforded us with new opportunities, so why wouldn't we take advantage of them to their fullest extent? A few years ago, naysayers claimed that all these social media strategist-type jobs were going to be short lived because they never believed in the power of these little apps on our phones.  Now, social media is one of the top priorities of companies when deciding how to market their brand in a digital age. Many taxi companies are literally going out of business because of these ride-sharing services powered by our smartphones. And some YouTube stars are now earning millions of dollars from ad services.

So, maybe it wasn't a complete lie. Maybe the sky is the limit, and the lie was that these people might not have believed it when they were saying it to us. 

When I was little, I secretly wanted to be an actress. I knew I couldn't be anything because what I really wanted was to be Hannah Montana--can you blame me? She was an eleven-year-old secret Popstar who doubled as a regular kid at school. But I digress... I wanted to be an actress, but I told everyone for years and years that I wanted to be a doctor. Because even as a little kid, I fed into the baloney that the only way I would be successful in life was if I chose one of the five career options they offer to elementary school kids. 

Maybe your Grandma was right and you are the next Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg of your generation. Maybe you really are one of a kind. But on the off chance that you are just like the rest of us--hopelessly trying to be anything but mediocre--don't despair. You have two choices: you can work a little harder to prove to your friends and family that your life choices are valid and meaningful or you can accept that despite no matter how much something means to you, some people might not always get it.

Hoping to find success or land a job after spending thousands of dollars on education, doesn't make you entitled. It makes you reasonable. You want a return on an investment. It doesn't mean that you are expecting a job to be handed to you. But it means that after years of hard work, whatever you end up doing with your life--whether you become a world renowned scientist or a vegan mommy blogger--you want to know that what you are doing matters because, once upon a time, when you were told that the sky was the limit, you believed them. 

Now is that such a crime?

TLDR: You can be anything you want to be--as you long as you really believe that.

LIFE STAGE: EMERGING ADULT

In Aziz Ansari’s book Modern Romance, he says that there is a fairly new stage in becoming an adult in the modern age. This is a person who is post-college but not yet settled down with a family. They are not a teenager, but they are not really a full-fledged adult either. It's this awkward transition phase. Aziz says Psychologist Jeffery Arnett calls this stage “emerging adulthood.”

EMERGING. I am emerging into being an adult. Gross. 

So, this term was coined to describe this new stage of life that young people are experiencing due to more people pursuing careers and getting married later than previous generations.

Arnett says emerging adulthood particularly applies to young adults in developed countries that don't have children, don't live in their own home, and don't have sufficient income to become fully independent in their early or late 20s. 

This person was previously viewed much more negatively. If you were post-college, single, still living at home and didn't have a stable income, you had somehow failed. Now... you're just average. 

Still, looks like us single young adults, wandering aimlessly into unknown territory, have some work to do. Much to our chagrin, we didn't come out of college with diamond rings or six-figure incomes. Lousy let downs, right? Must be because we're all self-absorbed, entitled millennials. 

In all seriousness, every generation faces the challenge of trying to get older generations to take them seriously. Generation after generation, the older people will always think "Ugh, kids these days" while shaking their heads. And young people will continue to push back against what that they believe is outdated and irrelevant. Some people like to think everyone my age is lazy, entitled and narcissistic. 

I don't buy that for a second. But that's for another day.

For now, just know that we're not all like that. We're just stuck in this weird phase of not totally knowing what we're doing. It's no wonder we turned out like this. We were fed lines like, "You can be anything you want when you grow up" our entire lives. And now that we're here, everyone's like "Oh... yeah, uh, forget that. We're were just saying that so you'd go to college. Now, be realistic, and good luck surviving in the real world with all those 'dreams.' Oh, and social security probably won't be a thing by the time you're a senior; guess you should have started saving for retirement when you were in diapers." Cool. 

As I journey into this awkward transition phase of trying to prove myself as a "real adult," you can join me each week as I attempt to describe the rollercoaster ride that is emerging adulthood. I'm starting the "Emerging Adulthood Series."

Week by week, I'll have a new tale of navigating through things like living on your own for the first time, having to sit at a desk for nine straight hours, and trying not to crawl under said desk to hide from your responsibilities. 

Up Next Week: The Sky's the Limit--and Other Lies from my Childhood. 

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

When we are little, we are often confronted with the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" We are encouraged to be creative. We are encouraged to be imaginative. We are encouraged to be daydreamers. 

But at some point, that all changes. Society wants you to be creative but in a scientific and analytical way. 

So, you've probably heard the saying "Don't quit your day job," right? It suggests that you should give up on your dreams, because you'll never make it anyway.

In Tori Kelly's song "Daydream" she says, "Don't quit your daydream." It is such a beautiful lyric, and I wish that more people felt this way.

Imagine. When you have dreams, you have to continually think of new ways to achieve your goals. No matter what your dreams are, it's likely that you spend time thinking about what it will be like when you achieve them. Dedicate time to actively imagining where you want to be and what you can do to get there.

[Related: How to Actively Pursue Your Passions]

Believe. You have to be your own biggest fan. Believe in yourself first, because people can tell whether or not you believe in yourself and that can make all the difference.

Determination. Sometimes your dreams will seem to big--even impossible. Don't let fear get in the way of the rest of your life. You shouldn't abandon your dreams because anyone tells you they are "unrealistic." But don't do something to prove anyone else wrong; do it to prove yourself right.

Love. At the end of the day, it comes down to finding something that you are passionate about. I have been told not to follow my passions. I have been told to do what will get me a job and what will make the most money. I have been told that I will never be financially secure in my industry. And to that I say, that scares me. It is terrifying every day questioning whether or not I will succeed. But then I go back to imaging what it would be like if it worked out. I go back to believing in myself and my abilities. I go back to being determined to making it happen, because I know it is what I want more than anything in this world. What I really want is to really mean it when I say, "I love what I do."

In school, we're told to pay attention. Stop daydreaming. Maybe there is a time and a place. But don't ever let anyone to tell you to give up on your daydream. You have the power to imagine what you want to do with your life, and you have the ability to make it happen.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?

Unfortunately, sometimes a job is just a job. It is a means to an end, and you might not have any intention of staying in the field you are currently working in. Whether it is a transitional stage in your career or you are trying to make some money to get through college, you have likely had a job that didn't care much about. For some of us, the thought of going to these jobs is something we dread every day. 

My worst-nightmare would be working in the food-industry for the rest of my life. Yet, most of my jobs thus far have involved food in some way or another. I have worked as: 

• A cashier in a grocery store
• A hostess
• An ice cream scooper and "frymaster"*
• A student worker in our Union's cafe
• A student worker in a college dining hall
• A server (or waitress, whatever you would like to call it)

And the biggest thing I have taken away from these jobs is that I will never work in the food industry past college. Since the mission of this blog involves encouraging people to pursue their passions, I decided to write about when it might be time to call it quits at that job you cannot stand. Don't get me wrong, we all have to go through these jobs sometimes, because unfortunately no matter how hard we dream of it money will not magically appear in our bank accounts. But there comes a point when enough is enough, and you need to know when it's time to move on.

It might be time to quit if: 

There is excessive work drama. 

Good coworkers can turn around a bad job. You have someone to vent to and switch shifts with if you really need a day off. Likewise, bad coworkers can make a bad job even worse. It's one thing if coworkers are complaining about how long the day is or that one really sour customer. But if people are talking behind each others' backs or starting rumors at work, it's trouble. You should not have to worry about whether or not you are on so-and-so's good side so they don't trash talk you on their smoke break.

 

The managers are constantly talking down to you.

There is a difference between constructive criticism and treating you like you don't know what you are doing. Keep in mind you were hired for this position, meaning you had to go through an interview process to prove your qualifications for this job. But sometimes no matter how hard you try, there will always be managers that act like nothing is ever good enough for them.

 

The work environment is no longer welcoming.

This one can go hand in hand with the first two. It might be a combination of both, or it might be that everyone seems to be in a perpetually bad mood. Think about it this way: if the manager is always cranky, the employees are likely to let that rub off on them, too. And being surrounded by negativity is draining. It can take a toll on your mental health, and you are likely to bring some of your frustrations home with you.

 

The commute is too much. 

Sometimes the commute to a job is not really worth it. You have to factor in the value of your time, and how much it is costing you to get there. If you make a few less dollars an hour somewhere closer, it might actually not be that big of a difference if you think about how much it is costing you just get to and from a job.

 

Your managers have unrealistic expectations. 

As someone who has worked two jobs while being a full time student, I know that coordinating everything can be difficult. You have to prioritize, and you have to be clear and honest about what you can handle and when you are available. When I got the second job, I explained my situation and they said that they would be flexible, and we could make it work. A couple months into it when one of the managers asked if my other job could schedule me out two months in advance I failed to see the flexibility. Especially seeing as they let me know my schedule the Thursday before a new week started, I would say it was pretty unreasonable to expect any job would schedule that far an advance. 

You have bigger goals.

Eventually, the time comes to let go of the jobs you are sick of working. There comes a point when the money is not worth it anymore. If you have to take a pay cut to work in the field you want to go into, it might worth it. For me, the experience that I am getting at my current job is invaluable. Clearly I still need money to survive, but I am willing to make adjustments and be more careful with my money to get experience in the field I eventually want to have a career in.

It's a pretty funny world we live in. We spend so much of our lives working to live, but if we spend all of our lives working jobs that we hate, is it really all worth it? At the end of my research seminar last year we had a banquet, and one of my fellows who was graduating read this story during his speech about a fisherman who was approached by a businessman. The businessman was confused as to why the fisherman was not out working hard and making a living. By the end, the businessman justifies all the hard work he would have to do by saying that at the end of the day (by retirement) he could sit on the beach and do whatever he wanted, but the fisherman points out that he is already doing this.

Ask yourself this: is what you are doing right now helping you get to where you want to be?

*Once upon a time, I got really good at making french fries. And yes, "Frymaster" was my official title.