SUMMER GOALS 2016

Summer has begun. This is my last summer as a college student! While I'll still be busy working two jobs, this is my last summer break. So, I have plenty of ideas about what I want to do to make this the best summer yet.

1. The Summer of Healthy. 
My biggest goal for this summer to is to be healthy. In college, it can be difficult to stay healthy. You're busy, you're going out with friends, and your number one priority is often doing well in school. That means that sometimes you put your health on the back burner. I don't want that this summer. I want to focus on putting healthy foods in my body. I want to exercise more. And I want more sleep!

I'm calling this summer "the summer of healthy." My #1 goal this summer is to be healthy in every sense of the word. After the first 7 mile run that I've ran in a long time (maybe ever), I'm feeling pretty confident about reaching my goals in this beautiful city ☀️🌿 #clichepicnicpointpic

A photo posted by Taylor Shiff (@tay_shiff) on May 18, 2016 at 1:54pm PDT

2. Learn new skills. 
I've had a book about learning Java Script on my bookshelf for two years. TWO YEARS. This summer I am going to learn Java Script already.

3. See more good live music outdoors. 
For the past few years I have gone to Basilica Block Party with my best friends back home. It is two nights of live music on three stages in Minneapolis hosted by Cities97, and it is one of my favorite events each summer. This year the lineup for the night I want to go includes, Death Cab for Cutie, American Authors, X Ambassadors, Matt Hires and more. I need to get to this concert.

4. Spend as much time as possible on the Terrace. 
The Memorial Union Terrace at UW-Madison is my favorite part of campus. Although, there is still a little construction going on there, everyone is thrilled that it is back open for the summer. And it is looking better than ever. I can't wait to have some more great summer nights hanging out in our terrace chairs.

5. Get outside. 
Living in between three lakes makes getting outside easy. Being near those lakes never gets old. There are so many beautiful spots in Madison and I want to spend more time exploring new places around here.

I wish every moment could be like this one ☀️🌎

A photo posted by Taylor Shiff (@tay_shiff) on May 6, 2016 at 4:56pm PDT

6. Make time for friends. 
This is the last summer that all of the amazing friends I have made these last four years will be together. Some of my friends are studying abroad in the fall and some of us are graduating in December. It's hard to believe that this is the last time we will all truly be together before people start moving away and getting full time jobs.

Last summer in Madison was great, but I know that this one will be even better. I have a feeling it's about to be a summer I'll never forget.

What are your summer goals?

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"

So far my winter vacation has consisted of a series of naps in between watching How I Met Your Mother and spending time with people back home. I spent a few days watching my little sister before she went back to kindergarten. I saw a few movies. And I took pictures with some of my best friends (like the one above). 

Now, after 5 and half seasons of HIMYM, I'm starting to feel ready to go back to school. I have finally had the time to workout, and boy is my body feeling it. My legs ache, my back is sore, and I have 11 weeks left of a workout program I agreed to do with my roommate. (We'll see how long that lasts.)

The thing is as soon as school starts, I'm going to regret wanting to go back. Everything gets busy so fast. I'm just running out of activities. I haven't felt much like writing these days. Lately I have held myself up to impossible standards of finding the perfect subject to pick up blogging again after my impromptu hiatus. But I am making myself come up with something, because you can only watch so much HIMYM before having an existential crisis about the state of your life. It's weird how much I can relate to that show when the main characters are in their thirties. 

On top of all that, every time I go on Facebook another person is headed off to study abroad. And it's a little bit difficult to watch, not only because some of them are my friends, but also because up until a few months ago I thought for sure I would be one of them. 

But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and there is something else in store for me back here. For now, since I have watched so much How I Met Your Mother, here are a few lessons I have learned along the way: 

1. No matter how well a first date goes, saying "I love you" is NEVER appropriate. 

But somehow you can recover from it and keep this person in your life (if your name is Ted Mosby)? 

2. If someone is meant to be in your life, they will come into it (or come back into it) when they are supposed to. 

Letting go of someone you care about it always difficult. Ted and Robin have been all over the place, but there's no doubt that in some shape or form they are meant to be in each other's lives. 

3. Life goals can change. And maybe they should. 

Everyone in the group has gone through a series of life changes. Marshall dreamt of being an environmental lawyer, but the reality of living in New York and trying to raise a family with Lily meant settling for a corporate job to survive. 

4. Sometimes dating isn't about "finding the one", but more about figuring out what you want out of relationships with other people. 

Ted was determined to find the one. He was ready to start find the woman he was "supposed to be with", and start a family. But it took a lot longer than he expected. But all of the women along the way helped him grow and figure out what he really wanted out of a relationship. 

5. Growing up is hard. 

At twenty years old, it's really easy to think that by 30 I'll have it all figured out. But after 5 seasons of HIMYM, I've realized that growing up is an ongoing process, and no one actually has it all figured out.

6. The journey is just as important as the destination. 

Once Ted was complaining about how he wanted to find his wife and start his life now, but Robin reminded him that it was about the journey and not just having the life. He wanted to skip past all of the stuff in between and end up with his perfect family. But you have to keep in mind, that it doesn't end there. Your life doesn't start once you land your dream job or find your "soulmate." It's happening RIGHT NOW, and you have to be present in every part of the journey. 

7. Life doesn't follow your timeline.

This one goes hand in hand with the last point, but I thought it was worth making its own separate point. You can plan your life out as much as you want. You can set dates for when specific life events should happen. You can envision where you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years. But nothing ever happens according to plan, and nothing is wrong with you for not having the life you thought you would have by now. 

8. You are AWESOME. 

Barney Stinson may be one of the most overconfident, narcissistic playboys of all time. But he got one thing right: you are awesome, and you should believe that.   

THE ULTIMATE WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT GUIDE

'Tis the season to give your friends ridiculous Christmas gifts. Figuring out what to buy takes forever! Forget Black Friday. Save some time this Thanksgiving for stuffing your face spending with family, and be the star of the Christmas party with the #1 White Elephant gift.

1. Clip In Man Bun

Groupon

In case you haven't heard, 2015 is the year of the man bun. Help your boyfriend or best guy friend fit in this season with this gem of a hair accessory. And can you believe that 85% discount?! What a deal!

2. Kale T-Shirt

Etsy

Who needs a Yale T-shirt when you can have the obviously superior Kale T-shirt? Nobody actually goes to Yale anyway. And everyone LOVES kale!

3. Giant Carrot for Loneliness

Etsy

Priced at $100 this is quite the commitment. But you will definitely take a bite out of the competition with this one. Plus, you could potentially be helping a single friend make it through the holidays. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a carrot to cuddle with?

4. Unicorn Ski Mask for Glasses Wearers

Etsy

How many times have you caught yourself thinking, Why don't they make ski masks that don't discriminate against glasses wearers? I'm sure it's caused many sleepless nights. But don't fret, THE SOLUTION IS HERE.

5. Flask Tie

Amazon

James Bond had a watch that helped him save the day. Give your friends the gift that will save the night.

6. Mini Beer Pong

Uncommon Goods

Can't fit a pong table in your tiny college apartment? The beer pong gods have answered your prayers. With this gift your friends will be the hit of EVERY college party.

7. Portable Wine Sack

Uncommon Goods

Forget Franzia. Make slapping the bag classy with the present that allows you to bring your wine anywhere.

8. Flask Book Box

Uncommon Goods

Because who actually reads books in college?

With these gifts, your friends will definitely leave saying, "All I want for Christmas is [insert your name here]." May your Christmas party be as successful of as the sales of these well-reviewed gold mines.

15 STAGES OF SIMULATANEOUSLY STUDYING

One of the worst feelings in college is the moment when you realize that you have more than one test on in a day or within the span of a couple of days. You have to have your priorities straight. This is not the time to procrastinate, because you are on double duty. Unfortunately, this means making sacrifices, especially in your social life.

While studying for multiple tests you might experience a rollercoaster of emotions:

Stage 1: It's going to be okay. I can do this.

Stage 2: Which one should I study first?

Stage 3: Why do professors keep giving us more new information so close to the test?

Stage 4: Maybe if I keep alternating between the subjects I won't burn out so quickly.

Stage 5: I need study breaks, don't I?

Stage 6: I can't do this. I repeat, I cannot do this.

Stage 7: My GPA might suffer, but I have to make a choice: which class do I have a better chance in?

Stage 8: This is cruel. Why can't my professors coordinate so that I don't have more than one test within a 48 hour period?

Stage 9: Okay, we are getting somewhere. I think I might actually be retaining some of this information.

Stage 10: *Takes practice test*: I know nothing.

Stage 11: Maybe I should review "X" some more.

Stage 12: I should have paid more attention in lecture.

Stage 13: How much longer do I really have to do this?

Stage 14: My brain can't possibly hold any more information.

Stage 15: *Day of the tests*: All right, I've done all I can. Let's hope the scantron gods can show me some mercy today.

The silver lining in all of this is knowing that you will have a little room to recover once you knock out these tests. Of course in college, professors don't miss a beat in giving you more to worry about, but you will feel relief when it is all over. Don't stress too much. It probably seems like a lot right now, but know you are not alone in this. You can do this!

*This post was originally published on Her Campus.

NAVIGATING MODERN ROMANCE

When I saw Aziz Ansari had a book out, I was in the height of my Parks and Rec binging stage. Tom Haverford is easily one of my favorite TV characters of all times. So when I saw that his book was a really well-researched book about dating, I was a little confused but mostly intrigued. Within 48 hours I was a proud owner of Modern Romance. As I have been navigating the dating scene myself and watching a fair amount of Friends and Sex and the City, I couldn't have read this book at a more perfect time. The characters in these TV shows were a bit older than me, so dating is already different for them, but the key difference is that they come from a very different era of dating: one with significantly less technology. 

So, how does technology play a role in dating these days? For a more in depth answer, you should read Modern Romance.* But I am going to break down some of the ways that Aziz talks about in simple form, and I am going to talk about what that means for us twenty-somethings navigating modern romance. 

So you both swiped right. 

This generally means that you both agree the other one is attractive--or at least you wrote a decent bio. Aziz did a lot of research about the use of online dating, including Tinder. For those of you who don't know it is an app to find singles in your area. You upload a few pictures and a little bio. Then you swipe through profiles of people in your area (or a little farther away depending on you "Discovery Settings"). You swipe right if you like the other person and left if you aren't interested. So if you both swipe right, you "match", which generally shows mutual interest. While the process of swiping is simple, what comes next is more complicated. 

(See: 7 Rules of dating and Why They Are Dumb)

So you are getting strange messages. 

Online dating is weird. Aziz has an entire section dedicated to what he calls "The Modern Bozo." This guy doesn't act like a normal human being, because he can hide behind a screen. He doesn't treat messaging like he would a normal face-to-face encounter. He's a freak. The thing is there is a fine line between being strange and being creepy or gross. I'm not sure what is more concerning: the fact that they are sending crazy messages or the fact that they would be interested in someone who replied to these messages. 

This message was actually sent to my friend, Grace. 

So you are texting.

Hopefully not all of your messaging experiences are going poorly. Texting can be similar to messaging in that it is much easier to say things over texting, which can lead to saying things you might not normally say to someone. It is much less personal than a phone call or talking face-to-face. So you have to be careful. If it sounds like something that you normally wouldn't feel comfortable saying to someone you could potentially date in person, then you probably shouldn't say it. What about when you're on the receiving end? If a message seems a little bit off, chances are it is. I'm not saying let a person's texting style completely diminish their personality in real life. But be weary of the people who take 8 hours to respond to a text or come on too strong early on. I once had a guy that I had met one time tell he missed me after we had barely talked. That's not normal. 

(See: First Dates: Expectations Vs Reality)

So you are ready to DTR. 

Defining the relationship is always tricky. When is too soon? Do you really want to be exclusive with this person? Can you miss a window and slip into the ever-feared "friend zone"? The thing is you don't want to jump into something too early. There is a natural progression in relationships, and there is no need to become exclusive after a couple of dates. Take some time and figure out if it is really what you want and if you really want to make the commitment to this person.

So you are considering an open relationship. 

It is so important to be clear on this. How could anyone forget the infamous "WE WERE ON A BREAK" of Friends? If you are in a relationship, you need to be honest about what the boundaries of the relationship are at all times. Aziz describes the varying levels of commitment people can have to each other through open relationships. Some people allow their significant other's to stray from the relationship under certain conditions that they both agree upon. Everyone has a different take on this subject, because some people believe that they need sexual novelty to be happy, while others can't fathom the idea of their partner being with another person to any extent.
Related story: One example from Modern Romance was of a woman that told her husband he could cheat as long as she never suspected a thing, and if she ever asked about it, he had to tell the truth. On a trip to Hawaii for her birthday she decided to ask him, and he responded by telling her that she probably didn't want to ask this on her birthday. But she insisted. He admitted he had been with 26 other women--they had only been married 13 months. Needless to say the marriage didn't last very long after that.

So you are losing interest. 

In a time where a seemingly-unlimited amount of new options can now be at your finger tips, it is easy to get in the mentality that there could be something better around the corner. You are always wondering if there is someone else out there that you could have a better connection with or more exciting dates. If you aren't in an exclusive relationship, you might be pursuing multiple people at one time, especially if you have a vast dating pool to choose from. This also means that you can easily lose interest in someone who isn't meeting your expectations or isn't providing the level of excitement you are looking for. 

So you are reading articles like, "Why You Need Puppies, Not Boyfriends" or "9 Reasons Why Guacamole Is Better Than a Boyfriend." 

At times it might be tempting to scroll through potential dates until you get the "there are no more people around you right now" kind of notification. All of the sudden everyone around you is coupling up and you are feeling single as ever. It's a weird time in your life when you are comparing guac and potential suitors (obviously we know which one is better). But know for every couple you spot holding hands, there are six more girls stressing over a text that a guy hasn't sent yet.*** So realize that there is nothing wrong with taking it easy, and not stressing over the dating scene right now. Some people might think people who say they love being single are lying, and maybe some of them are. But especially as a young adult there are so many beautiful reasons to be single. You are learning so much about who you are and what you want, and at least for me, I know that is changing every day. 

Related: College Guys: Expectations Vs Reality

Modern Romance was one of the best books I have read in a while. Aziz's book says way more than I could ever try to cover, but I wanted to share my interpretations of his book mixed with my own experiences and other readings. My hope is that as you continue navigating the dating scene you are more conscious of the role that technology is playing in your relationships (or potential relationships). Whether you are seeing someone who acts different in person than text or just reading a lot of articles about dating, consider that technology is most likely affecting your perceptions of dating in many ways.

*This is my own unsolicited advice. It's a great book--you should check it out. Since it's Aziz, it is not only super informative, but it will make you laugh out loud--guaranteed or your money back.**

**Just kidding, I made that part up.
***This is might not be a real vetted statistic, but I could go into a room and find at least 6 girls waiting for a guy to text them back. 

7 REASONS TO BE THANKFUL FOR GUY FRIENDS

Every girl has a different relationship and level of closeness with her guy friends. But there are some things you can always count on from your best guy friends. As much as we love our girl friends, our guy friends are a necessary part of our lives. You might not be able to have an in depth conversation about their fantasy league, but you know that it is just part of the package. And you are definitely grateful to have them in your life anyway.

Here are some of the many reasons to be thankful for your guy friends:

1. They can give you a different perspective on things


2. They look out for you


3. They are always down for food


4. They will make sure you are educated on the important stuff


5. They will keep things exciting


6. They have weird problems that you pretend to understand, because they pretend to understand yours

7. They always have a weird way of saying something to make you feel better

Guys, I know this is an uber cheesy post, but I hope you know it's kind of cool that you're in my life or something.  Anyway, cheesy moment over. Well, one more thing: thanks for always being super encouraging and supportive. I'm pretty lucky to have you guys around.

7 RULES OF DATING (& WHY THEY ARE DUMB)

Raise your hand if you are sick of reading Cosmo and trying to figure out how to push past all these frogs to find Prince Charming. Anyone? I know it can't be just me. We spend all of this time weeding through the ones who are still in love with their exes or constitute walking around Shopko as a date. Then when we find a halfway decent date, we find out that the game has only just begun. Wait, aren't we trying to avoid playing games, you say. I carefully chose that word, because when you follow the "rules" of dating, you are playing along.

1. Don't text back right away.

Wouldn't want to seem too eager, now, would we? For most of us our phones are like another limb; they are always with us. Clearly we all have lives. We spend time with friends, we work and go to school. But if someone texts you, and you are available to text this person back, why do you have to fret over how much time is appropriate to wait before responding to a text back? Will this person really think that you don't have a life if sometimes you text them back in a timely manner?

2. Don't appear too interested.

You probably shouldn't say I love you on the second date. However, acting too indifferent can come off as completely uninterested, and you don't want that either.

Related: The Ethics of Crushes

3. Appear busy on the first date that they suggest to go out, whether or not you are actually busy. 

This is almost the same thing as not texting back right away. It is basically supposed to show that you have a life. So again, if the first date that they suggest works for you, why wait?

4. Don't let things get too physical too fast. 

This one is a good idea--to a point. When is too soon for the physical part of a relationship? Can you kiss on the first date? Perhaps, a hug is appropriate at first. Should you follow Sex and the City's 3rd date rule? It's one thing if the guy only wants to meet up later in the night instead of going on an actual date. But the connection is either there or not. There is no magic formula for how quickly a relationship should progress. You just have to go at a pace that is comfortable for you--remember that.

5. Be mysterious.

I'm not saying you should tell your whole life story before the breadsticks hit the table. But this is dating, not detective work.

6. Know something about what he is interested--but don't know too much. You don't want to end up in the Bro Zone, after all. 

This one is ridiculous. Do you guys know what the Bro Zone is? Is it even a thing? It is supposed to be the girl version of getting "friend zoned", which I think is a completely ridiculous concept in the first place.

Related: First Dates: Expectations VS Reality

7. Don't be too picky.

Sometimes people act like if only you weren't looking for this one specific thing you wouldn't be single. But looking for a guy who flosses and actually goes to school is not picky--it's called having standards. Don't feel bad about that. Similarly, it can be easy to think you are into someone just because they like you. It doesn't have to be that way. Make sure that you find someone that you are genuinely interested in and picture a relationship with before jumping into anything.

The point is stop playing the game. Make up your own rules, and stop stressing over all of the little details. When you really click with someone these things shouldn't matter. If you spend all of your time thinking about everything before you do it, you will find yourself trying to be someone you are not. And you will be dating people for all the wrong reasons.

12 REASONS TO BE EXCITED TO BE BACK IN MADISON

While spending some time back home can be fun, there are so many reasons that you are itching to back on campus. You might not be ready to make the climb up Bascom or drop a few hundred dollars on textbooks, but those just happen to come along with the many benefits of being back in town.

1.This is where a lot of your friends are now

It’s fun to see friends from home, but there is nothing like getting back and catching up with your college friends after a long summer apart.

2. The Terrace

With the Terrace closing on September 1^st for construction, the first thing you probably wanted to do was get back and soak up as much sun as you could on those orange, yellow, and green chairs. It’s too bad that these last couple weeks of summer feel more like early October than late August. Wisconsin summers are short enough, couldn’t we have a little more sunshine?

3. You get to deck out your new place

It’s time to decide which posters make the cut. And who could forget about the Christmas lights?

4. Babcock Ice Cream

I scream, you scream, we all scream for Babcock.

5.  State Street

Find someone to let you into the Hub. Just kidding—no, but really. Also while you are there, stop in the brand new and vibrant Colectivo. There are so many things to do and places to eat on State Street. Sure we have a Wendy’s and an Urban Outfitters, but you have to enjoy some of the shops and restaurants that are unique to State Street, too!

6. Badger Football games

Who wouldn’t be pumped to back in the sea of red? Badgers have some of the best school spirit around, and we cannot wait to be back cheering on our team!

7. Greenbush Donuts

It’s only $1 for heavenly goodness.

8. Ian’s Pizza

Late night pizza? Count me in.

9. Free movies

Miss the free movies on the Terrace throughout the summer? Well, there are still plenty of free screenings of pretty recent movies at the Marquee in Union South frequently. Don’t forget to check out what is playing through WUD Films!

10. Picnic Point

Reserve a spot at Picnic Point, and enjoy the beautiful nature by Lake Mendota before it gets too cold!

11. Lake Mendota

Speaking of the wonderful Lake Mendota, there are so many great water activities to do through Hoofers. Whether you want to learn to sail or just admire the water, having this great lake right on campus is definitely one of ours school’s many allures.

12. Napping on Bascom Hill

No one actually likes to climb Bascom, but when it’s just warm enough to soak up the sun, it is a great place to be. There are plenty of people napping, reading, studying, or just hanging out on one of the most recognizable spots on campus.

Welcome back, Badgers!