TAKE A MOMENT FOR GRATITUDE

As I reflect on the month of September, I am reminded to take a moment to slow down. It's hard to believe the month is already coming to a close. I shouldn't have exams already. It seems too soon still, because it doesn't feel like we have been in school long enough. But looking back on all that happened this month, I realize that a lot has happened.

My month has been filled with football games and school work. We celebrated my close friend, Bridget's, 21st birthday! The Badgers rocked the football field. I made new friends in my classes and through other friends. My roommates and I even tried to make friends with some of our neighbors (I'm not sure how successful that was). I worked--A LOT! And I met a few of my new coworkers, even if I might have already embarrassed myself in front of them.

In the height of my stress over school, I kept looking at the pack of unopened "Thank You" cards sitting on my desk. These cards provided a reminder that even though I haven't taken a lot of time lately to realize it, I have a lot to be grateful for.

What I am thankful for this month:

• Great friends and family
• My health
• The new people I have met and the bonds that have grown stronger with friends
• My job (and my coworkers)
• My position as a managing editor for Her Campus-Wisconsin
• Finally having a concept for one of my major projects in my production class (shoutout to my friends who helped give me many ideas in this process)
• Coffee
• My roommates
• Our awesome house

It's so easy to get caught up in everything you have going on, and forget about the little things. I will admit my thoughts have been super scattered lately with all of my tests and projects. But it is so important to slow down sometimes. It is necessary to take the time to appreciate everything and everyone in your life. Last week was the anniversary of my second-cousin's passing. It is hard to believe that four years have passed, but I am so grateful for the 17 years that I got to know her, and for all of the joy that she brought to this world while she was here. 

Take a moment today to tell someone how grateful you are that they are in your life. And maybe even make your own list of what you are grateful for this month. It can be as vague or as specific as you like, because it is just for you. 

What are you grateful for? 

15 STAGES OF SIMULATANEOUSLY STUDYING

One of the worst feelings in college is the moment when you realize that you have more than one test on in a day or within the span of a couple of days. You have to have your priorities straight. This is not the time to procrastinate, because you are on double duty. Unfortunately, this means making sacrifices, especially in your social life.

While studying for multiple tests you might experience a rollercoaster of emotions:

Stage 1: It's going to be okay. I can do this.

Stage 2: Which one should I study first?

Stage 3: Why do professors keep giving us more new information so close to the test?

Stage 4: Maybe if I keep alternating between the subjects I won't burn out so quickly.

Stage 5: I need study breaks, don't I?

Stage 6: I can't do this. I repeat, I cannot do this.

Stage 7: My GPA might suffer, but I have to make a choice: which class do I have a better chance in?

Stage 8: This is cruel. Why can't my professors coordinate so that I don't have more than one test within a 48 hour period?

Stage 9: Okay, we are getting somewhere. I think I might actually be retaining some of this information.

Stage 10: *Takes practice test*: I know nothing.

Stage 11: Maybe I should review "X" some more.

Stage 12: I should have paid more attention in lecture.

Stage 13: How much longer do I really have to do this?

Stage 14: My brain can't possibly hold any more information.

Stage 15: *Day of the tests*: All right, I've done all I can. Let's hope the scantron gods can show me some mercy today.

The silver lining in all of this is knowing that you will have a little room to recover once you knock out these tests. Of course in college, professors don't miss a beat in giving you more to worry about, but you will feel relief when it is all over. Don't stress too much. It probably seems like a lot right now, but know you are not alone in this. You can do this!

*This post was originally published on Her Campus.

NAVIGATING MODERN ROMANCE

When I saw Aziz Ansari had a book out, I was in the height of my Parks and Rec binging stage. Tom Haverford is easily one of my favorite TV characters of all times. So when I saw that his book was a really well-researched book about dating, I was a little confused but mostly intrigued. Within 48 hours I was a proud owner of Modern Romance. As I have been navigating the dating scene myself and watching a fair amount of Friends and Sex and the City, I couldn't have read this book at a more perfect time. The characters in these TV shows were a bit older than me, so dating is already different for them, but the key difference is that they come from a very different era of dating: one with significantly less technology. 

So, how does technology play a role in dating these days? For a more in depth answer, you should read Modern Romance.* But I am going to break down some of the ways that Aziz talks about in simple form, and I am going to talk about what that means for us twenty-somethings navigating modern romance. 

So you both swiped right. 

This generally means that you both agree the other one is attractive--or at least you wrote a decent bio. Aziz did a lot of research about the use of online dating, including Tinder. For those of you who don't know it is an app to find singles in your area. You upload a few pictures and a little bio. Then you swipe through profiles of people in your area (or a little farther away depending on you "Discovery Settings"). You swipe right if you like the other person and left if you aren't interested. So if you both swipe right, you "match", which generally shows mutual interest. While the process of swiping is simple, what comes next is more complicated. 

(See: 7 Rules of dating and Why They Are Dumb)

So you are getting strange messages. 

Online dating is weird. Aziz has an entire section dedicated to what he calls "The Modern Bozo." This guy doesn't act like a normal human being, because he can hide behind a screen. He doesn't treat messaging like he would a normal face-to-face encounter. He's a freak. The thing is there is a fine line between being strange and being creepy or gross. I'm not sure what is more concerning: the fact that they are sending crazy messages or the fact that they would be interested in someone who replied to these messages. 

This message was actually sent to my friend, Grace. 

So you are texting.

Hopefully not all of your messaging experiences are going poorly. Texting can be similar to messaging in that it is much easier to say things over texting, which can lead to saying things you might not normally say to someone. It is much less personal than a phone call or talking face-to-face. So you have to be careful. If it sounds like something that you normally wouldn't feel comfortable saying to someone you could potentially date in person, then you probably shouldn't say it. What about when you're on the receiving end? If a message seems a little bit off, chances are it is. I'm not saying let a person's texting style completely diminish their personality in real life. But be weary of the people who take 8 hours to respond to a text or come on too strong early on. I once had a guy that I had met one time tell he missed me after we had barely talked. That's not normal. 

(See: First Dates: Expectations Vs Reality)

So you are ready to DTR. 

Defining the relationship is always tricky. When is too soon? Do you really want to be exclusive with this person? Can you miss a window and slip into the ever-feared "friend zone"? The thing is you don't want to jump into something too early. There is a natural progression in relationships, and there is no need to become exclusive after a couple of dates. Take some time and figure out if it is really what you want and if you really want to make the commitment to this person.

So you are considering an open relationship. 

It is so important to be clear on this. How could anyone forget the infamous "WE WERE ON A BREAK" of Friends? If you are in a relationship, you need to be honest about what the boundaries of the relationship are at all times. Aziz describes the varying levels of commitment people can have to each other through open relationships. Some people allow their significant other's to stray from the relationship under certain conditions that they both agree upon. Everyone has a different take on this subject, because some people believe that they need sexual novelty to be happy, while others can't fathom the idea of their partner being with another person to any extent.
Related story: One example from Modern Romance was of a woman that told her husband he could cheat as long as she never suspected a thing, and if she ever asked about it, he had to tell the truth. On a trip to Hawaii for her birthday she decided to ask him, and he responded by telling her that she probably didn't want to ask this on her birthday. But she insisted. He admitted he had been with 26 other women--they had only been married 13 months. Needless to say the marriage didn't last very long after that.

So you are losing interest. 

In a time where a seemingly-unlimited amount of new options can now be at your finger tips, it is easy to get in the mentality that there could be something better around the corner. You are always wondering if there is someone else out there that you could have a better connection with or more exciting dates. If you aren't in an exclusive relationship, you might be pursuing multiple people at one time, especially if you have a vast dating pool to choose from. This also means that you can easily lose interest in someone who isn't meeting your expectations or isn't providing the level of excitement you are looking for. 

So you are reading articles like, "Why You Need Puppies, Not Boyfriends" or "9 Reasons Why Guacamole Is Better Than a Boyfriend." 

At times it might be tempting to scroll through potential dates until you get the "there are no more people around you right now" kind of notification. All of the sudden everyone around you is coupling up and you are feeling single as ever. It's a weird time in your life when you are comparing guac and potential suitors (obviously we know which one is better). But know for every couple you spot holding hands, there are six more girls stressing over a text that a guy hasn't sent yet.*** So realize that there is nothing wrong with taking it easy, and not stressing over the dating scene right now. Some people might think people who say they love being single are lying, and maybe some of them are. But especially as a young adult there are so many beautiful reasons to be single. You are learning so much about who you are and what you want, and at least for me, I know that is changing every day. 

Related: College Guys: Expectations Vs Reality

Modern Romance was one of the best books I have read in a while. Aziz's book says way more than I could ever try to cover, but I wanted to share my interpretations of his book mixed with my own experiences and other readings. My hope is that as you continue navigating the dating scene you are more conscious of the role that technology is playing in your relationships (or potential relationships). Whether you are seeing someone who acts different in person than text or just reading a lot of articles about dating, consider that technology is most likely affecting your perceptions of dating in many ways.

*This is my own unsolicited advice. It's a great book--you should check it out. Since it's Aziz, it is not only super informative, but it will make you laugh out loud--guaranteed or your money back.**

**Just kidding, I made that part up.
***This is might not be a real vetted statistic, but I could go into a room and find at least 6 girls waiting for a guy to text them back. 

7 REASONS TO BE THANKFUL FOR GUY FRIENDS

Every girl has a different relationship and level of closeness with her guy friends. But there are some things you can always count on from your best guy friends. As much as we love our girl friends, our guy friends are a necessary part of our lives. You might not be able to have an in depth conversation about their fantasy league, but you know that it is just part of the package. And you are definitely grateful to have them in your life anyway.

Here are some of the many reasons to be thankful for your guy friends:

1. They can give you a different perspective on things


2. They look out for you


3. They are always down for food


4. They will make sure you are educated on the important stuff


5. They will keep things exciting


6. They have weird problems that you pretend to understand, because they pretend to understand yours

7. They always have a weird way of saying something to make you feel better

Guys, I know this is an uber cheesy post, but I hope you know it's kind of cool that you're in my life or something.  Anyway, cheesy moment over. Well, one more thing: thanks for always being super encouraging and supportive. I'm pretty lucky to have you guys around.

SNAPSHOT SUNDAY: THE END OF SUMMER

This time of year is always bittersweet. I will admit it is nice to get back into some sort of routine after a long summer. But summer. It's no secret I am in love with summer. It has come to a close, and it is time to accept all that comes along with the beginning of a new semester. We still many adventures. So before we really begin focusing on school, let me tell you about the memories I made at the end of summer.        

Girls Night // The girls are back, and life is good. It felt so good to have a girls night and catch up. Plus, catching up in a rooftop hot tub with a view of the Capitol in the background wasn't all that bad.

Chicago // I have only been twice (both times for the day), but I love it already. Hopefully one day I will get to spend some more time there. But I had a wonderful day with some of the girls exploring the city. From our cliche Bean pictures to walking around Navy Pier it was a day to remember.

Breakfast food // I love breakfast. I am convinced I could eat breakfast food for every meal and be content. If it weren't for pizza, I might try. The avocado toast is something I love making myself. The breakfast sandwich and potatoes are from a place called, Mickie's Dairy Bar. People have been talking about this place since I got on campus, and it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I finally went. I didn't even want to try something new the second time I went, because I liked this so much the first time. Then, in Minneapolis we went to a place called Black Coffee and Waffle Bar. My waffle had cream cheese frosting, strawberries, and whipped cream. Needless to say it was the best waffle I have ever had. 

Surprise Concert // When one of my roommates asked who Phillip Phillips was, I never imagined the conversation would end with, if you want to see him tonight go get free wristbands at the Union today.

The Great Minnesota Get Together // The 5 of us girls piled into my car and made the drive back to Minnesota for the State Fair and more fun. Three of us are from Minnesota, one is from around Chicago and the other is from Wisconsin. So we took turns showing our friends from out-of-town around the cities. We stuffed ourselves with Sweet Martha's cookies and other fun food on a stick at the State Fair. We snapped some pictures and walked around the Stone Arch Bridge in Minneapolis. And we shopped 'til dropped at the Mall of America. It was a weekend for the books. 

Kitten // His name is Tux. And I am in love. Apparently my brother just brought home a kitten a few weeks ago that he got from a friend, and now my family loves him. Only, no one told me about him. But if there is any surprise to come home to a tiny new furry friend is certainly a good one. They named him Tux, because he's black with white fur on his front side. But my little sister keeps calling him Sylvester. Whatever they want to call him,  I wish I could take him back to school with me. 

It's hard to believe that classes have started, and summer is over. Where did the time go? Now it's time to remember all the reasons to be excited to be on campus. I guess part of the reason I don't want the summer to end is, because the start of the semester marks the beginning of junior year. It's scary! Every year is that much closer to the "real world", and I have no idea what life right after college will look like for me. Hopefully the future includes copious amounts of breakfast food and a decent salary to pay for all of it. 

7 RULES OF DATING (& WHY THEY ARE DUMB)

Raise your hand if you are sick of reading Cosmo and trying to figure out how to push past all these frogs to find Prince Charming. Anyone? I know it can't be just me. We spend all of this time weeding through the ones who are still in love with their exes or constitute walking around Shopko as a date. Then when we find a halfway decent date, we find out that the game has only just begun. Wait, aren't we trying to avoid playing games, you say. I carefully chose that word, because when you follow the "rules" of dating, you are playing along.

1. Don't text back right away.

Wouldn't want to seem too eager, now, would we? For most of us our phones are like another limb; they are always with us. Clearly we all have lives. We spend time with friends, we work and go to school. But if someone texts you, and you are available to text this person back, why do you have to fret over how much time is appropriate to wait before responding to a text back? Will this person really think that you don't have a life if sometimes you text them back in a timely manner?

2. Don't appear too interested.

You probably shouldn't say I love you on the second date. However, acting too indifferent can come off as completely uninterested, and you don't want that either.

Related: The Ethics of Crushes

3. Appear busy on the first date that they suggest to go out, whether or not you are actually busy. 

This is almost the same thing as not texting back right away. It is basically supposed to show that you have a life. So again, if the first date that they suggest works for you, why wait?

4. Don't let things get too physical too fast. 

This one is a good idea--to a point. When is too soon for the physical part of a relationship? Can you kiss on the first date? Perhaps, a hug is appropriate at first. Should you follow Sex and the City's 3rd date rule? It's one thing if the guy only wants to meet up later in the night instead of going on an actual date. But the connection is either there or not. There is no magic formula for how quickly a relationship should progress. You just have to go at a pace that is comfortable for you--remember that.

5. Be mysterious.

I'm not saying you should tell your whole life story before the breadsticks hit the table. But this is dating, not detective work.

6. Know something about what he is interested--but don't know too much. You don't want to end up in the Bro Zone, after all. 

This one is ridiculous. Do you guys know what the Bro Zone is? Is it even a thing? It is supposed to be the girl version of getting "friend zoned", which I think is a completely ridiculous concept in the first place.

Related: First Dates: Expectations VS Reality

7. Don't be too picky.

Sometimes people act like if only you weren't looking for this one specific thing you wouldn't be single. But looking for a guy who flosses and actually goes to school is not picky--it's called having standards. Don't feel bad about that. Similarly, it can be easy to think you are into someone just because they like you. It doesn't have to be that way. Make sure that you find someone that you are genuinely interested in and picture a relationship with before jumping into anything.

The point is stop playing the game. Make up your own rules, and stop stressing over all of the little details. When you really click with someone these things shouldn't matter. If you spend all of your time thinking about everything before you do it, you will find yourself trying to be someone you are not. And you will be dating people for all the wrong reasons.

12 REASONS TO BE EXCITED TO BE BACK IN MADISON

While spending some time back home can be fun, there are so many reasons that you are itching to back on campus. You might not be ready to make the climb up Bascom or drop a few hundred dollars on textbooks, but those just happen to come along with the many benefits of being back in town.

1.This is where a lot of your friends are now

It’s fun to see friends from home, but there is nothing like getting back and catching up with your college friends after a long summer apart.

2. The Terrace

With the Terrace closing on September 1^st for construction, the first thing you probably wanted to do was get back and soak up as much sun as you could on those orange, yellow, and green chairs. It’s too bad that these last couple weeks of summer feel more like early October than late August. Wisconsin summers are short enough, couldn’t we have a little more sunshine?

3. You get to deck out your new place

It’s time to decide which posters make the cut. And who could forget about the Christmas lights?

4. Babcock Ice Cream

I scream, you scream, we all scream for Babcock.

5.  State Street

Find someone to let you into the Hub. Just kidding—no, but really. Also while you are there, stop in the brand new and vibrant Colectivo. There are so many things to do and places to eat on State Street. Sure we have a Wendy’s and an Urban Outfitters, but you have to enjoy some of the shops and restaurants that are unique to State Street, too!

6. Badger Football games

Who wouldn’t be pumped to back in the sea of red? Badgers have some of the best school spirit around, and we cannot wait to be back cheering on our team!

7. Greenbush Donuts

It’s only $1 for heavenly goodness.

8. Ian’s Pizza

Late night pizza? Count me in.

9. Free movies

Miss the free movies on the Terrace throughout the summer? Well, there are still plenty of free screenings of pretty recent movies at the Marquee in Union South frequently. Don’t forget to check out what is playing through WUD Films!

10. Picnic Point

Reserve a spot at Picnic Point, and enjoy the beautiful nature by Lake Mendota before it gets too cold!

11. Lake Mendota

Speaking of the wonderful Lake Mendota, there are so many great water activities to do through Hoofers. Whether you want to learn to sail or just admire the water, having this great lake right on campus is definitely one of ours school’s many allures.

12. Napping on Bascom Hill

No one actually likes to climb Bascom, but when it’s just warm enough to soak up the sun, it is a great place to be. There are plenty of people napping, reading, studying, or just hanging out on one of the most recognizable spots on campus.

Welcome back, Badgers!