And A Happy New Year

  Dear readers,

Recently, I took a peak at some of my old blog posts. It was interesting to go back. In a way it is like a public personal account of the last couple years. I learned a few things from it:

1.     My taste in music has not changed much

2.     My writing and views have evolved over the course of the blog

3.     I am undoubtedly a writer and always have been

It seems that I really have been battling with this for a while. My name is Taylor, and I am a writer. It’s real now, because I wrote it. The truth is I really can’t remember a time when I didn’t like writing. It has always been a part of me. I still engaged in normal childish activities, but even when I was in elementary school I wrote. I wrote stories. I wrote the scripts to talk shows. I wrote about talking dogs and holographic people who lived in the Internet (this was back in 2002—think about what the Internet looked like then to a 7-year-old).

But the best thing I found looking back at my posts was how much I mentioned good times with friends and family or how lucky I was to have them. I will admit I got pretty sentimental. My friends and family have supported and encouraged my writing. They have given me inspiration and the confidence to continue. Thank you to anyone who has influenced my writing, to anyone who has read my blog/writing, and to anyone who has let me know that what I wrote had an effect on them.

It means more to me than you could ever know. I am thankful for my family, for the friends who I have had from high school or before, and for the new friends that I have already grown so close to. You guys mean the world to me. And even if I don’t personally know you or know you well, it means so much that you have taken the time to read what I have to say.

I might not have held up all my New Year’s resolutions for 2013, but it was one of the best years of my life. I hope it was a great one for you, too. Let’s go make 2014 even better.

Have a Happy New Year!

From the Life in the Lost Found Bin

A Year to Remember

Shout out to the best roommate a girl could ask for!

10 THINGS YOU LEARN AT COLLEGE

You learn a lot at college. In my first semester, I learned way more than I expected, but instead of pouring out all of the academic knowledge I acquired in a short post, I am going to tell you about what I learned about life.

1.     Distance matters. The people on your floor can become your best friends. At first, it concerned me that so many people said the people that live next to them ended up being their close friends. It’s frightening. What if you don’t like those people? What if you don’t find anyone that you click with? The truth is, there are plenty of people on my floor that I will never be good friends with—and honestly, I might never meet some of them. However, there are so many different kinds of people, that you are bound to find friends. I got lucky: I found lots of them.

2.     Everything changes. The things you think matter will change. No matter what you expected to care about in college, it will change. I am not saying your morals will change and you will completely reverse everything you have ever believed in. But it will make you question what you value and, what’s more, it will force you to consider why you ever applied to college in the first place.  

3.     Who you were in high school doesn’t matter. Most people don’t talk about what kind of people they were in high school. In fact, I don’t know much about the past of most of my close friends in college. I just found out at the end of the semester that one of my friends was valedictorian of his class, and he never brought it up, because he was so humble about it. It’s somewhat weird if you think about it, but you usually don’t spend too much time thinking about that. You live in the moment. You get to know who these people are right now because, after all, that’s all that matters.

4.     Guys have feelings, too. It’s really a beautiful thing, but if you ask any guy if this were true, they would probably deny it to the end of the earth. They often try to put a tough guy act on, but this is real life, guys. I have witnessed it. Put on Crazy Stupid Love, and watch college guys get emotionally invested in Steve Carell’s romantic fate. It’s like magic.

5.     Your address has changed. If you’re where you are meant to be, you won’t be homesick. In fact, when you go home on holiday break, you might feel homesick, because you know that you are away from your new home. It’s where you sleep and eat and socialize. In college, those are your most basic needs.

6.     You will keep in touch with the people that you care about most. The other night I was talking to my friend Grace*, who has been one of my best friends since I was 7-years-old. I share everything with her. She probably knows more about me than anyone else in the world. We don’t get to see each other very often now, and actually we didn’t see each other that much in high school, despite living about 10 minutes apart. Yet, we have texted almost everyday since both of us got cellphones in like 6^th grade. We could probably name each other’s college friends. She usually knows if I like a guy before I do. When I was debating over possible career choices, she could even tell me why I wouldn’t like certain jobs. You figure out who you want to keep in touch with, and you make it work. Period.

7.     There is never enough time. This sounds weird, but even when you’re studying it feels like the clock is broken because the hands are spinning so fast (or more realistically, that the digital numbers are changing rapidly, but that didn’t have the same finesse). As the saying goes, “time flies when you’re having fun.” I wouldn’t be the first person to admit reading textbooks and endless articles is not exactly a college kid’s idea of fun, but when we are up against midnight deadlines and exams coming up sooner than we expected, things change. The libraries are full of people downing Starbucks and Red bulls in hopes of harnessing enough energy to crank out a paper or memorize five chapters of information.

8.     Living in close quarters means you learn a lot about everyone. By the end of your first semester, you could have friends that feel like family. You will see them everywhere. When you go to the bathroom. When you leave for classes. When you go to eat. I don’t think I have ever spent so much time with the same group of people. The best is having late night talks that quite literally last until the middle of the night, when you realize how late it really is. And there is no faster way to bond with people then to have impromptu deep and meaningful talks about life.

9.     You are there to learn. Once classes start, it hits you: this isn’t just a place you came to hang out and make friends. You (or whoever is funding your education is) are spending thousands and thousands of dollars to get a degree that says you are knowledgeable and qualified to be a good worker. So go to the library. Join a club. And make this time matter.

10. Life takes time. The “I want it, and I want it now” mindset easy to get stuck in, but you often have to step back and realize that you aren’t going to have all of the answers right away. You shouldn’t expect to know what your major is or what career path you would take by the end of your first lecture. It takes time. In fact, many people who have graduated from college and are already in the work field don’t have it all figured out. The most important thing that I learned this semester was that the beauty of life is that you don’t have to know all the answers. You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Instead, all you have to do is give life your all and see where you end up, because that is all you can do. Worrying about the future is natural, but if you spend all of your time doing it, then you really are missing out on journey, which is really what it is all about. I know this is getting terribly cliché and sappy, but I am starting to believe for the first time in my life that right now is the best time in my life. Not just because it is college, but because it is today.

*The name has not been changed in this post. She offered her permission to write about her.

Freak-outs, Finals, and Other Fun

It’s that time of year: Finals Week. This is definitely the least merrily time of December, despite the holiday decorations and the cheerful music lightly playing throughout the halls. Every door is closed, some with a college kid behind them engulfing a textbook in attempt to learn a semesters worth of content in a matter of days. Other rooms are vacant, while the occupants are practically chained to a desk in the library.

 Netflix and sleep hold the greatest temptation. All anyone wants to do is lie in bed and watch endless episodes of shows like New Girl and Breaking Bad. Instead, our minds are consumed with equations and complex concepts, hoping that we they will stay in our brains long enough to pass the exams.

Some Motivation

It’s crunch time. Grab your textbooks and your highlighters; we’re going on a journey to the end of our sanity. But don’t stress too much, because if your stress level is too high, then you won’t perform as well. I’ve learned it’s all about finding a happy balance. Don’t spend every last second cramming information from the last 15 weeks in 2 days. Hit the important points and take little breaks to relax your mind.

When I have a moment of panic about tests, I take a step back and think about the things that I have to look forward after. Sleep. Family. Home. Friends. Cookies (It’s that time of year). Christmas. Also, I look back at the rest of semester, and I realize that I had my time. I have made such great friends, and I have had such great experiences. Now it’s time to show what else we got out of this semester. 

Some people that keep me motivated

Christmas is Coming

 It's that time of year again, and I couldn't be more excited. The snow is finally falling, Christmas music is playing in every retail shop you go in, and the stringed lights are lining the streets. This weekend, I got to go to Chicago for the first time, and it was one of the best days I have had this semester. It was finally started to feel like Christmas.

With an Eggnog Latte in hand, and an open agenda, I set off to explore the city with friends. We went straight to the Bean and took our cliche pictures in the reflections. We headed to Michigan Avenue and went straight to the shops, spending hours admiring clothing and jewelry--even though none of us actually bought anything all day.  We even got a free sample of the peppermint bark from the Ghirardelli chocolate store.

I felt like the typical tourist, in awe of the magnitude of the buildings--I walked with my neck turned up, trying to take it all in. It felt like a movie, maybe because there are so many different movies set in Chicago, and maybe because as I looked around me, it felt magical. We watched the people ice skating in the park, and it seemed like there wasn't a better way to spend the morning.

There was a point in the day where all we could do was sit, exhausted by the constant walking and the over-stimulation of the buzzing city. But even when we were resting, I was enjoying it. This was a break from a reality, without homework or the stress of worrying about tests and papers. It was the best way to commence the holiday season and spend time with the girls. We realized that after a few minutes of browsing in stores, we would stop and start talking in the middle of the crowds. It was like we traveled 2 and half hours on a school bus to have extended girl talk.

There isn't another way that I would have rather spent my Saturday. The Christmas season is here, and all my wishes are coming true.

Ten Thousand Hours

Malcolm Gladwell has a book called Outliers. Maybe you've heard of it. But more likely, if you have listened to the radio in the last year, you are more familiar with Macklemore's "Ten Thousand Hours". This song is based on a concept that he borrowed from Gladwell. His idea is that it takes 10, 000 hours to become an expert. He said, "the closer psychologists look at the careers of the gifted, the smaller the role innate talent seems to play and the bigger the role preparation seems to play."*


Macklemore wrote about the people who "put their passion before being comfortable." The song is about how doing what you love is a struggle, and it takes a lot of time and work. 

Here are some of the most important lyrics that I want to talk about:

"I stand here in front of you today all because of an idea
I could be who I wanted if I could see my potential
And I know that one day I'mma be him"

"The greats weren't great because at birth they could paint
The greats were great cause they paint a lot"

"No child left behind, that's the American scheme
I make my living off of words
And do what I love for work
And got around 980 on my SATs
Take that system, what did you expect?
Generation of kids choosing love over a desk
Put those hours in and look at what you get
Nothing that you can hold, but everything that it is"

Many people in our parent's generation talk about college being this place for you to "find yourself", as if you have all the time in the world to find your niche and discover what you are meant to do with your life. Unfortunately, in reality, every time you don't take a class, you risk not being able to take higher level class and graduate on time, because there are prerequisites that need to be met. In our parents generation being there 4 1/2, 5 years might not have been that big of a deal. But we don't live in that time. We face rising tuition costs. We face an uncertain job market. We face problems that didn't exist 20, 30 years ago. So not having it all figured out is a lot more unsettling for us. At the same time, we struggle to understand that no one truly ever has everything figured out. When you're in an academic setting that concept is easily lost. You want to know everything. In fact, it seems that the more time you spend in the library, the closer you are to accumulating all the world's knowledge. And with the Internet at our fingertips, it's hard not to believe that we can know everything.

In a few short months, I feel like I have actually changed a lot. I guess I expected that. I'm in a new place, away from my family and the friends that I grew up with. When I got back for Thanksgiving break I realized that I found myself thinking about August Taylor. I stepped back for a second, realizing that I had both referred to myself in third person and indicated that November Taylor was a different person. August Taylor believed that it was important to figure it all out now. I was going to go into a field that would guarantee me a job because of the field. Maybe I would be an engineer--maybe a businesswoman. I would take math next semester, because I like math, right? I would start seeing the world in different terms, asking all the right questions.

It took one conversation to change that, to recognize that this person I wanted to be wasn't me. One night I was heading to the library and I ran into a guy from one of my classes. He asked where I was headed and I asked where he was headed, and before I knew it, I had told him that I was going to come with him to find a new study spot. I didn't even ask (which is very unlike me)--it's like something just told me that I should go. Later we were talking about what we wanted to do with our lives, and I told him that I was thinking about engineering. That's when he told me that he was considering screenwriting, but he wasn't really sure yet. I said, "Stop. That's what I want to do with my life, but I'm too afraid." He said that he wasn't.

I wish that I could say "And that was it. That's when I decided to follow my dream." But I can't. I don't have a special turning point where I figured out exactly what I wanted to do. All I know is that I am done trying to see the world through the eyes of someone that I am not. After a lot of encouragement from friends, my grandma, and even some people I barely know, I have decided to start living for me. I know that both my parents want me to be an engineer, and have a fantastic starting salary. Making a living is important, and I recognize that.

But when Macklemore says, "I could be what I wanted if I could see my potential", it really resonates with me. When I graduate from college, I am not going to know everything. I might not have it all figured out. And it's not going to be easy, but I think I am going to put my passion before being comfortable.

 "Cause the moment is now
Can't get it back from the grave"



*Gladwell, Malcolm. Outliers: The Story of Success. United States: Little, Brown and Company, 2008. Print.

Relax and Be Easy

I often find solace in music. It's like a place that I go to escape and reflect. For me, it's easy to find meaning in other people's words. Sometimes they are just vague enough to apply to your own situations, or you find certain lines that you relate to. As I have said many times before, there's a lot that goes on in my head. Music helps to organize my thoughts and help me better articulate what I'm thinking.

A few days ago my brain was on overload so much that I couldn't concentrate on anything. You know in a movie when they show a flash of images that lead up to a dramatic conclusion? Or when you're flipping through channels really fast and all you see is a sequence of images and clips? That's what my brain felt like the other day. Sometimes the electronic noise helps to drown all of that out and reorganize my thoughts. 

The great thing about music is that there is pretty much a song for everything. There are different artists to accompany particular moods. There are songs that align with situations and might even help to explain parts that you can't seem to understand. There are even lyrics that change your perspective completely. 

Recently, I found a song that related to what I'm learning in my classes right now, and I was able to pull lyrics in an academic blog post to further my points. It was great. 

Whether you are feeling stressed or just need some time to relax, music can be a great release. It's so important to take the time to do the stuff that keeps you on track. Sometimes you need to focus on what's going to get you through the day. It's easy to get caught up in all that you have to do and be stuck in the mindset that you have to "go-go-go!" But if you are on constant overload, you're not going to be productive anyway. 

There's even a song that goes with this post*: 

Lay back and be easy Just take your time, let it go, live freely 
Be Easy Just relax, lay back, Be Easy 
Take your time, let it go, live freely

This doesn't mean that you should be lazy and forget about everything, but sometimes you have to remind yourself to take a breath and relax your mind for a little while. It's the only way to keep yourself from going crazy. 

*"Be Easy" by Kinetics (the same song I connected to the academic blog post but with a different part of the song)

Why I Hate School but Love Education

This is a very powerful video that one of the peer mentors from my undergraduate research scholars program just sent me. It made me reflect on my last blog post and consider why those things matter to me.

 I encourage you to spend the next few minutes watching this video, and while you're watching it, ask yourself why you do what you do? If you're in college, going to college, or a college graduate, why does higher education matter to you?

Time Management

In college, there is no shortage of distractions. There are more student organizations than there is time to figure out what you want to be involved in. Your friends are always around. And there is always some kind of shenanigans going around either in the dorms or around them. If you want to get any work done, you basically have to isolate yourself in a corner, and plug into an alternate reality, filled with printed text and the sound barrier of your headphones.

In the beginning, you are really ambitious. You want to be the first college student to ever master the task of having a full social life, getting enough sleep, and completing all of your assignments. BUT THEN YOU REALIZE THAT DOESN'T WORK. It's amazing how frequently I have run off of four hours of sleep and still functioned semi-normally. In fact, it's happening so much that it's almost becoming normal, and that in itself is a scary thought.

With an abnormal amount of caffeine (for me) and the ambition to do well this semester, I attempt to steer clear of my distractions. I have post-it notes reminding that social media will be there when I'm done. I have high-lighted lists of tasks that need to be completed. And I have memos in the calendar on my phone, reminding me of where I need to be at all times.

There's no doubt that college is stressful. I just took my first-ever college midterm, and my brain just about turned to mush the second I set my pencil down. But before entering college, I did a lot of cost-benefit analysis.

Costs: 
Around $28,000 a year (before financial aid, etc.)
4 years of my life (plus the time I might spend in some sort of graduate school)
Energy (To anyone who has an iPhone and just go the new iOS 7 update: it's kind of like the way that this update drains your battery. High school is like iOS 6: you still used a lot of battery, because there was always so much to do. But then you get to college (iOS 7) and all of the sudden your energy is dropping quicker than you can explain.)
My Sanity (this might be an overstatement, but I swear I am going crazy sometimes)

Benefits:
Knowledge
Leads to a Job (A career!)
Get into graduate school
Meet new friends
Learn more about life
Go more in depth in the subjects that I enjoy
Learn more about myself

Going to college was never a question, but just looking at these lists, I know that it is worth it. Wait, I should really be getting back to work! I didn't schedule this distraction.

I've Been In Love With Love

I woke up with the lyrics to the Mowgli's hit "San Francisco" stuck in my head yesterday morning.

I’ve been in love with love
And the idea of something, binding us togetherYou know that love is strong enough,I’ve seen time tell tales about that systematic drug,Yeah that heart that beats as oneIt’s collectivelyUnconsciously composed

And at first, I couldn't remember why. Then it hit me. I had been talking about the night that I confirmed my acceptance to Madison. It seems like it was a million years ago, now, but that song brings me back to that night in an instant. I can picture the dim lighting in my room. I can nearly feel the way I trembled with a mix of emotions. And I can look back on the post that I wrote the next day and confirm that I have what it takes to be a badger. 

These last few weeks have been some of the best of my life. I have met some of the most friendly and genuine people. My classes are both challenging and fascinating. And I know that I am right where I am supposed to be. I am in love with my college. 

I have so many stories to share and life decisions to contemplate but, for now, I will leave you with this:  always go with your heart. If you don't, you'll always wonder what if. And if you do, no matter what happens, you will find what you are looking for.