Killing Off Your Viewers

Dear TV Producers of my favorite shows,

How did you know that every American yearns to be depressed before the holiday season? That we secretly pray that we will have one more opportunity to bawl our eyes out before we have to put on a façade of being jolly at Aunt Marilyn’s house at Christmas. It takes real skill to have that kind of perception. It must be hard to be so knowledgeable.

We all know you have to go out with a bang before Christmas break to keep the viewers on their toes until the show’s return in January. Logically, your plan was to make them pull out a gallon of Cherry Garcia and furiously search Google for the best local therapist. The weight they’ll gain from all the ice cream will surely encourage them to plop their fat assses on the couch to watch another patient suffer complications in surgery on Grey’s. Let’s not forget the therapist, who will definitely suggest the viewer tune into see another life ruined from a blast on Gossip Girl.

Genius. You guys are so in tune with everything us viewers are thinking and feeling. I can’t even tell you. It’s like you have ESPN. Oh wait—they actually know how to keep their viewers coming back. I think I meant ESP. Was I implying you might not actually know what you’re doing? Hard to say. I mean, killing the innocent husband who everyone loves off of Grey’s Anatomy? Possibly killing off Chuck after he and Blair finally confessed they would only be happy with each other and made plans to spend the rest of their lives together on Gossip Girl? Killing off the man who was going to get sober with Amelia on “the Intervention” two-hour special of Private Practice? Possibly killing off the only reason I watch 90210, Liam? Killing off the best characters is a good thing? I guess you could say I’m confused. But since you’re so smart, you must have legitimate reasons behind killing them off….right?

You may have lost a viewer,

Or 1,234,383

But who’s counting?

Kill me off 90210. See how many teenage girls keep watching.

How can you break them up?

Or them? After they just confessed their love.

Good time to kill off her one shot at happiness.  

‘Twas a Chrismahanukkah to Remember

Let’s be real: It doesn’t get much better than Chrismahanukkah. The turkey. The ham. The brisket. Mashed potatoes. Potato latkes. It’s the life. The big fat, eat until you feel like you’re going to see the meals again and even the elastic on your sweatpants can’t stretch anymore, beautiful life. The whole day is bound to be one to remember. As my aunt said “On the eve of Kwanzaa, we celebrated Chirstmas and Hanukkah ‘Twas the night before Kwanzaa, when the Jews and the Christians celebrated Chrismahannukah.”


Some of the girls belted out Christmas carols as we played Rummikub, and the aspiring musical artist of the family, in all her nine years of wisdom, suggested we try out for the X-Factor. I said, “That would be great: three Jews, a half-Jew, and a Christian singing Christmas songs.” But that didn’t stop my Christian little step-sister and Jewish cousin from joining around the iPad in a beautiful duet of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.”


From the organized chaos of opening presents to the strange animal calls from the kids’ table at dinner, Christmanahnukkah didn’t have a dull moment. There was the occasional teasing, but how can Dad resist when Uncle Sean is wearing a Barney colored sweater. There was a brief appearance by an FBI agent (AKA my six-year-old cousin with new Hanukkah toys). There was even a brief flashback into the seventies with old family photos.


On my third meal in six hours, I was starting to feel sick. But looking around at the crazy loud mess I call family, I felt grateful. These moments are the ones you want to hug like a teddy bear for the rest of your life and never let go. At the time, you may feel like you want to run out of the house screaming with your hands cupped over your ears, pretending you don’t know these people. But these are the best moments. They itch. They burn. They hurt. Then you look back at the pictures and you can’t think about anything other than how hard you laughed when Dad told Uncle Sean “Barney called and he wanted his sweater back.” You can feel the rush of excitement in the last intense seconds of a Rummikub match. The sound of your cousins running around on a sugar high is your new favorite song. These are the moments that matter.


As I scan my living room filled with family, all of my stress is released. SAT. ACT. AP. Suddenly they’re just letters. And nothing else matters. 

                                       

Step-Sister (Left) Cousin (Right): Christmas Duet

Relying on Serendipity

I live my life through signs. They help me make sense of my thoughts and thus, help me figure out which path I should take. But what if signs aren’t always trustworthy? I mean take this one for instance; do risk and reward always fit hand in hand? If I decided to go to a keg party one weekend, I would be taking a risk. People usually think that this could be a pretty enjoyable night. But there are so many reasons that this doesn’t sound like a fun Saturday night for me. First off, I have no interest in ever drinking, so I would be surrounded by a bunch of drunken people, and what? I would be miserably bored and most likely disgusted. Secondly, if I decided that I was going to defy my own beliefs and drink I would fear getting caught. NHS poof! YES Advisory Board poof! College poof! Any chance at a good life poof! (Ok so maybe it is somewhat exaggeratory, but that is what is running through my head when I think about the negative consequences. I know where I want to go to college and that is why I’m working so hard to make sure I don’t screw it up.)

Friday night I hung out with two friends talking for what seemed like a lifetime between California Pizza Kitchen, H&M by the jewelry, and then sitting in my car for over an hour once we got back. While we were all exhausted (AP Compers are always drained by Friday night), this was probably one of the best Friday nights I have had all year. We talked about how we are the farthest thing from rebellious and we are so perfectly boring that we never take risks. The most rebellious part of the night was when I showed up at 11: 26 after I said I would be home before 11… after I texted my dad’s girlfriend at 10:56 to tell her I would be home in a little while we were just talking. Yeah, I’m pretty badass. But in all seriousness, I have never stepped out of line. I don’t challenge my parents because I like the trusting relationship we have and the freedom they give me because of trust. And there’s nothing wrong with being a good kid, but just once I wish I could color outside of the lines and not feel bad about it. 

Risks scare me. I think about every possible outcome because I tend to overanalyze my decisions. The negative possibilities are usually enough to turn me away from an idea. But I hate the fear. Most of eighth grade I could not talk to the boy who sat behind me in Spanish class. Looking back, I’m not that sad that I didn’t talk to him because I realized I have no idea what I ever saw in him. But every time I go to the Ridgedale Target, he happens to be working and even though I don’t have a crush on this kid anymore, I get awkward and lose my social skills. I don’t understand this because I have no trouble talking to guys anymore. But now the trouble is I still don’t take risks with guys. Maybe I’m old fashion, but I think a guy should ask a girl out. So when I found out that this year’s Winter Semi-formal was a Sadie’s and I have to attend because of NHS, I guess you could say I was less than thrilled. Friday night we talked about the dance, and we came to the conclusion going to the dance with each other would be awkward the Winter Semi-formal is more of a couple’s dance. This wouldn’t be a problem, if we weren’t all single…

So I guess it is time to veer of course. I am in no way planning to ask someone out; just because I want to take risk doesn’t mean I am going to ask a guy out. But even asking a guy to go to a dance as friends would be a risk to me. I’m still sitting at this sign trying to figure out which way to turn. But even though the dance is two months away, I can’t sit around waiting for a sign that will point me in the right direction. Taking a risk is about not knowing which way to go but running full force one way hoping that serendipity will lead you in the right direction.  

How To Write Good (And Other Wonderful Mistakes)

It’s Better If I Don’t Understand

"The Other Side" by Bruno Mars feat. Cee Lo Green and B.O.B.

Bruno Mars is fantastic. I love his music and this song is no exception. But there is one line in this song I can’t get out of my head, “It’s better if you don’t understand.” It’s not that this line is particularly catchy, or even that I like the sound of it. I think this line sticks with me because I relate it to my own life. This line makes me think of one of my friends my math buddy? I’m not really sure what to call him. See the thing is: we are polar opposites. I’m not really sure how we became whatever it is we are because of the fact that we are such different people. Basically it seems like pure coincidence because he was stuck in front of me on the first seating chart. But have you been read my blog title? I don’t believe in coincidence. At the same time, I don’t know if you could really call this accident fortunate.

While he’s a nice guy and all, sometimes I wonder why I met him. I know what you’re thinking, “Um, Tay… yeah it’s just math class. I wouldn’t exactly read into it.” But I think the people that have a significant impact on you come into your life for a reason. By significant impact I mean: friends, inspiring teachers, classmates that teach you something about life, or anybody else that has somewhat of a long-term effect on you. When you’re math buddy makes you think about more than how to solve rational functions, you start to wonder why you met this person. Well, at least I do this.

Bruno Mars starts out this song with “Truth of the matter is I’m complicated, you’re as straight as they come.” The way I relate this song to my situation is with my math buddy as the complicated one. By this, I mean he doesn’t make the same kind of choices as I do. I feel like I’m heading down a pretty straight path, and I have no idea what direction he’s going in. And it drives me crazy. He’s made me think about life and values. For the first time in my life, I’ve begun to realize how complicated people really can be. When he first told me what kind of choices he makes, I looked down on him. I thought he was stupid and foolish. But as the semester goes on, I’ve realized people aren’t just one way or another. The choices he makes don’t completely define him as a person the way I thought they did.

What drives me crazy is seeing a perfectly capable, smart person making stupid decisions. But what’s worse is as time goes on I get to know him better. Knowing someone’s being an idiot is a lot easier when you don’t anything about them. After spending my Saturday night at my friend Ashna’s watching House, I decided he reminds me of Gregory House. He may not be a vicodin popping, witty doctor, but he drives me crazy in just the same way as House drives Cuddy crazy. Dr. Cuddy is his boss and she is as Bruno Mars would say, “As straight as they come.” But House is always pushing her buttons. Here I was watching House, texting my comp buddy actual guy friend that I knew was off making good decisions, and laughing with Ashna until we almost cried. And I realized maybe it really is better that I don’t understand. While my math buddy is off doing who knows what, I was spending quality time with House and my actual friends. I like it better on this side.

An Unnatural Disaster

With a little luck and a garbage bag, you might be able to sort through the mess that is currently the Shiff’s counter. Fortunately, I can assure you we do not normally live like this. My dad’s girlfriend wouldn’t allow it. Our house is usually clean in ways that most people didn’t even know possible because we are expected to have it clean at all times. I was asked to clean my room for the first time since probably fifth grade when I didn’t put away some of clothes one time. Yeah, so you can imagine my surprise when I discovered our counter this morning. But it also tells me something: there was a series of odd events that led up to this unnatural disaster.

I don’t know about you, but my eye automatically goes to the red, open bag of skittles somehow sitting comfortably in the middle. Last night my family went to see the movie that received 4% on Rotten Tomatoes, Jack and Jill, with Adam Sandler x2. So I can imagine this is where the skittles came from, but who left them here? Well, seeing as my dad’s girlfriend is the cleanest of us, it’s not likely that it was her. And two nine-year-olds probably would have gotten a lot farther with them before they got caught. Thus, my dad is most likely the culprit. But finders keepers, losers weepers right? What a fortunate discovery.

And what about those tickets? What are they for? Well my guess is that these tickets aren’t sitting there by accident, seeing as they are getting used tonight. Since my dad’s girlfriend’s purse is sitting near them, she probably left them so that we don’t forget them for Jingle Ball tonight. And my keys aren’t much of discovery.  But I’m slightly curious as to why there is a book… I mean it’s sitting next to the coffee pot. And well, maybe I’m the only one who does this, but sometimes stuff spills. It seems like a careless place to leave such a fragile item. If I had to take a guess, Madelyn left it there. She is my dad’s girl friend’s daughter and a more than careless nine-year-old. She probably left it with no thought at all, as she wandered off to comb her American girl doll’s hair.

Most people might not see my counter as a regular gold mine. But considering everything there holds some kind of value to our family, I’d say these are pretty fortunate discoveries. Even if these items were left there by mere chance.

Reveal

1. definition
2. cause/effect
3.narration
4. compare/contrast
5. argument/persuasion
6. description

Wanted: Reward Ryan Gosling

Desire is an inescapable evil of sorts that everyone wants to pretend we can resist. Truth is…we all know what we want and what we’re willing to do to get it.

 1. To desire is to wish or long for. It is craving something so bad you simply cannot imagine living without it. Desires motivate us and make us work to fulfill our dreams. They push us forward because we are all seeking satisfaction. To desire is to want something that will ultimately lead to happiness or at least the illusion of happiness. After all, aren’t some of our desires illusions themselves?

      2. We desire because we are all seeking this big happy ending portrayed in fairytales and movies. As we floss away the popcorn after a night at the theater, we think about where our lives are going and wonder where our Ryan Gosling is (Still waiting…just for the record). Movies have made our desires slightly unreasonable. While we would all love to be swept off our feet by Gosling, we might have lower our expectations a little bit and realize that Prince Charming may have a little more ribbit than we planned. 

.    3. For years I begged my parents for a sister. I went as far as asking them to adopt me a sister if they weren’t willing to produce any more kids themselves. Being the only girl of three kids, I was going nuts with two little brothers. I would have given up my entire Barbie collection to have a baby sister, and considering I had twelve zillion Barbies, that is saying a lot. It only took fifteen years and a different dad, but my wish finally came true. And I wouldn’t trade her for anything (not even Ryan Gosling).

     4. Desire can be associated with hope, but desire does not always hold the same optimism hope does. Sometimes you recognize that your desires aren’t going to be fulfilled. But a desire is a lot like a wish; even if you know it isn’t going to come true, you still have hope. We don’t abandon our wishes because they are outrageous; usually we desire them even more. When we dream big, we have hope that one day we will find happiness because we know how far we are willing to go to make our dreams come true.

     5. Fight for your desires. Life isn’t about being handed everything like on free sample day at Byerly’s.  You have to work for the thinks you want in life, and it isn’t always easy. Life is about finding something that you would do anything to obtain and doing whatever it takes to get there. Find something that you can’t live without, and don’t ever let it go. If we don’t have something worth working for, what do we have in life?
    
     6. Desire is red hot. It is boiling and bubbling over the edges of the pot. Desire is the aroma of fresh baked cookies and Christmas trees. It is enchanting and leaves you wonderstruck. This is something that no one can escape because it is all around us. Desire waits for you at home and follows you into the dark. It pulls you close, wraps it arms around you and doesn’t ever let go.

So what do you want?

The Missing Pot of Gold on the Other Side of the Rainbow

Grocery stores are filled with magic. There is a magic little man that goes around spreading joy to shoppers by filling the shelves with Marshmallow Lover's Hot Chocolate and Lucky Charms. It is as if every aisle brings a new discovery and all sorts of possibilities, and the whole experience is peaceful and wonderful. The grocery store is the perfect place to wander around and just think about life while mindlessly filling the shopping cart. Of course everything changes the moment you get a job as a cashier at Rainbow Foods.

Now I wince every time any one even mentions a grocery store. It seemed like the perfect place to work because I love going grocery shopping. I arrived at Rainbow at 3 o'clock on June 11 running off of five hours of sleep for my first job interview because I did Relay for Life the night before and stayed up all night. Nonetheless, the manager was impressed by the fact that I was so dedicated to volunteering. Once I got the job, I realized there was so much I didn't realize about the working world. For one thing, people are mean.  I have had people be rude or mean to me in the past, but I never realized how psycho people are to cashiers. People seem to think it is ok to take out all of their frustrations at cashiers. For some reason, people also think cashiers are paid to listen to their problems. We are their shrinks.

Over the summer Rainbow played Monopoly. One day I asked a guy if he played our Monopoly, "Ha, as if I need any more games. Try having two women love you, one being your fiancée and the other your boss." My eyes widened, and I'm pretty sure all I could mutter was, "eh, haha ok have a nice day…." Another lady exclaimed, "I'm going to get a kitten tonight!" when I asked her if she had a Rewards Card. But some of my interactions have been less humorous. I've experienced everything from being yelled at about not scanning the monopoly card to 50-something-year-old guys telling me I'm pretty. As you can imagine, many times I have wanted to toss my apron to the floor and walk out.

I've also started a list of the types of customer I don't like:

1. Mean people (Seriously, stop shopping. Hire someone to do your shopping for you, take an acting class so you can at least pretend to be nice, or take the advice given to five-year-olds: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I mean it, stop being mean to your cahsiers.)
2. People that are obsessive about their coupons (You would be surprised how many people have coupon books).
3. People that have five transactions and hold the line up
4. People with five transactions and a million coupons so that they get $100 worth of stuff for less than $15
5. The lady that only buys a bag of potatoes and then causes other people to leave the line because we have been waiting for a price check for so long
6. The guys that smell
7. People with dirty hands
8. People that watch the screen and freak out when the price doesn't come down right away (I can't tell you how many times I have said, "The price for the [insert their food item here] will come down at the end of the transaction").

But there are also people that I like:

1. The couple that offered to pay for a woman's groceries because she left her wallet at home (It was the sweetest thing I have ever seen at Rainbow).
2. Young guys (It is less creepy if they think you're cute, and they are fun to talk to)
3. People that start conversation with me
4. The woman that said it was nice to meet me after our conversation tonight
5. The people that tell me what a good job I am doing
6. The old man that thanked me for working on the 4^th of July
7. My coworkers (They are some of my favorite people in the world)
8. The couple that told me I look like a movie star today (The wife said I look like Natalie Portman, and the husband said I look like Mayim Bialik from the Big Bang Theory).
9. One of the guys in my grade that thanked me for "Checking him out" via Facebook and had to clarify "Checking my groceries out of course."

These people make me happy; they make up for every person in the first list that ruins my day. Thankfully I am no longer a consistent employee at Rainbow because of school. I only worked today because they need extra help before Thanksgiving. And while my feet hurt, my back aches, and I didn't get a chance to do homework, I'm glad I worked today. Sure it was a long day, and eight hour shifts really suck, but it was nice to be back. My coworkers (all women from their forties to late sixties) greeted me with joy and told me how glad they were to have me back. My favorite, Terry, (this lady in her sixties that every customer I know loves) called me from the next register over to tell me, "Don't worry about that last lady. She's always a pain the ass." It made my day.

Natalie Portman                                Me                                  Mayim Bialik

(Yeah… I'm not seeing it… but I still like those people)

eXposing the eXtremes

You can tell a lot about person based on the TV shows and movies he or she watches. Usually they display personality traits that are already evident, but sometimes they reveal ones that hide behind the surface. Often times the genre one chooses reflects his or her interests but everyone has their guilty pleasures. From the Bachelor to Jersey Shore, our society is hooked on the pathetic lives of these wannabe famous reality stars. Our society thrives on the extremes in movies and television. We want the most scandalous, the hottest, the fastest and the goriest. The younger generation just keeps getting worse because we are already addicted to the competition of outdoing one another in attempt to get the spotlight.

Shows like Glee no longer can entertain with happy songs and steady relationships. They have to push the limits to ensure their fans keep the series recording on the DVR. From teen pregnancy to bullying of gay students, Glee touches on hot topics in today’s society. E!’s the Soup pokes fun at many reality shows, exposing the ridiculous aspects of today’s entertainment.  E online describes the “wildly popular show” by saying “Joel McHale satirizes pop culture and current events.”  While the Soup makes fun of the absurdities on TV, there are certain features one could argue are just as outrageous as the very ideas it is satirizing. The transitions like “The Clips of the Week” (pretending to clip a Chihuahua) and “Chat Soup” (a pot full of talk show host faces) portray the values of today’s society. The whole show is very silly and brings humor to demonstrate how pathetic these shows actually are.

Themes in television and movies have changed over time as values in our culture have changed. If you look at sitcoms from the twentieth century, you see pure clean humor with reassuring family themes. In the past decade we have changed from innocent to a society driven my sex, drugs, and money. Look at the titles of the shows now and then:

Then: Leave It To Beaver, Seinfield, Boy Meets World, Bewitched, Brady Bunch

Now: Sex and the City, Cougar Town, the Bachelor Pad, Take the Money and Run, Dirty Sexy Money, Intervention

As our values have changed so has TV, but that doesn't mean it is always as negative as it may seem. We have many family friendly shows that are enjoyable for the masses. Abc's Modern Family brings joy even to the crabby old man that yells at you for throwing your football in his yard. Nbc's the Office makes the meanest boss bring cupcakes to all of his workers (or at least consider it for the brief moment between shredding your confidence and spitting in your face). And Eli Stone (a show that played on Abc for a few seasons a couple of years ago) brought a sense of happiness that even the most sarcastic people would be touched by. 

TV and movies may be trying to go to the extremes nowadays, but sometimes they can be eXtremely inspiring. 

(X squared p. 119)

My Heart's A Stereo

If there is one thing most people don’t know about me, it’s that music plays a huge role in my life (or maybe that my nickname’s Birdie—but that’s another story). Most people don’t know that I play the guitar, but that isn’t a surprise seeing as I can’t play much. And by that I mean I know how to play Amazing Grace, When the Saints Go Marching In, and the beginning of the song The Middle by Jimmy Eat World… But I am currently working on learning I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. (At the rate I’m going I’ll have it down by the time I’m thirty.)

Music has always been such a big part of my life because it is the one thing that keeps me sane through all of the hard times. Whether I am sad or angry or stressed, music has been the one thing that has always been there for me. When everything sucks and I feel completely let down, music builds me back up and shows me I’m not alone. It never leaves me or lies to me or breaks my trust. I can rely on music night or day to guide me and make me feel better. It has helped me through every tough situation in my life by either making me forget about my troubles or giving me lyrics that fit exactly what I’m feeling. I think the song that has been the most influential is Keepin’ It Real by Shaggy. It is a song about being happy with what you have because there is always someone who has it worse. So whenever I feel things are as bad as they can be, I turn on Shaggy and he helps me through it. The song Someday by Elliott Yamin helped me deal with the loss of my cousin in September. It reminded me that this isn’t goodbye; it’s more like see you Someday.

My favorite part about music is that it gives you words to the feelings that you never knew how to describe before. I hate to admit it, but even Taylor Swift has helped me put words to what I’m thinking. I feel like the majority of her songs are either whining about guys or sharing how crazy she is about some guy. But what teenage girl doesn’t relate to something she’s saying at some point? It’s kind of this unavoidable evil (Like secretly not hating Bieber—everyone wants to say they hate him, but let’s be real guys, at one time or another you’ve hummed along to Baby when you think no one’s listening too). I see it as a common bond between all teenage girls, because it shows we all have the same boy frustrations at some point. But I like Colbie Calliat songs the best when it comes to those kinds of things. She has such an incredible voice, and everything she says is completely true. Like What I Wanted To Say, this song is genius. Pure genius.

The biggest reason music plays such a large role in my life is I am just completely and utterly madly in love with it. It is like chocolate chip cookies, seat heaters, 80’s movies, and corvettes all wrapped into one.  I get this warm fuzzy feeling, and I Like How It Feels. I listen to music every chance I get: in the car, in the shower, while I’m getting ready, while I’m getting my homework out, right now…Most of the time I can’t concentrate on homework when I’m listening to music, but I have no problem dividing polynomial functions and belting out This Love (Maroon 5 of course—my favorite band on the planet) simultaneously. So math homework is slightly more entertaining. Speaking of Maroon 5, I have now seen them twice in the past year. And that is not enough. I Can’t Lie, Adam Levine is pretty much one of my favorite people in the world, and I don’t even know him. His voice makes me melt.

Like I said, I’m in love with music. Music from the decades before I was born is my favorite: the Eagles, Bon Jovi, Boston, Guns N’ Roses, Aerosmith, Lynard Skynard (the guitar solo in Free Bird is my favorite thing in the world), the Bee Gees, Billy Joel, the list goes on. These artists help build the soundtrack of my life. They have shaped me as a person, and continue to affect me in my everyday life, because as the title mentions, My Heart’s a Stereo.

Adam Levine at The State Fair Concert 9/5/11

I'll Take It As a Sign: Sweet Serendipity

I have always known one thing for certain: I am a dreamer. It’s not that I live in a world of fantasy, or even that I am impractical or unrealistic. I just try to have an open mind and hope that everything will turn out for the best. I am in love with serendiptous moments, because I believe the best things happen on accident. They aren't forced or planned, they just happen. But sometimes I get frustrated when I don't know where things or going or how to get where I want to be. I just want simple things to turn out well.

Like for instance, it would be great if I could sit down and write an essay with confidence. I love to write. So that clearly isn’t the problem. And I can see how far I have come since my first essay in second grade on rhinos. I could sit and analyze why I struggle writing with confidence until I have written an entire analysis paper on myself. But it would be much easier to simply tell you the only thing I know for certain about my writing: it is reflective of my personality. Sometimes I struggle to find my voice, just like how I sometimes struggle to find out about myself. I hate answering questions about how I would describe myself and what I like to do. Most of the time, I struggle to answer them because I don’t know how to describe myself or what I like to do. I just am this way. And I just do stuff.

I have weird quirks and sometimes I talk too much. Sometimes I say too little. I love being around people and laughing with my friends until I think I am going to cry. But I also love to be myself and write about everything. I write down funny things people say and keep them in my quote book. This is where I keep things that make me happy or make me think. Some of the things in my quote book make me hopeful for the future and what it has in store for me. I have no idea where I am going to end up or how I am going to get there. But at the moment I am more focused on figuring things out that are right in front of me. I need to know which way to turn right now.

When I sit down to write a paper I need all of my resources in front of me. For my rhetorical analysis essay I laid everything out on my desk and gathered my materials. The pages of the marked up article sat side by side with my CRJ in my notebook on the right side, so I could add to it. I had highlighters, markers, G2 Pens (the only kind of pen I will use for homework), a glass of ice water, my iPod (just in case I couldn’t tune out my obnoxiously loud family), and a hair binder. As I stared at the blinking cursor on the empty document, I thought about which way I wanted my paper to go. At the beginning of everything I write I think of where I want it to go and then try to get there. But sometimes I am limiting myself. I’ve realized that there is no one way in writing. There is a million different ways it could turn out and sometimes that is freighting, but most of the time it is exciting. With writing I can really get in the zone and tune the rest of the world out. It isn’t like math where I can get distracted and end up doing something else because I am so bored with trying to solve for the freaking X. In writing I get to control the outcome. If I got to choose the value of X, maybe I would like math more (but probably not).

In the end, no matter what grade I end up getting on a paper, if I feel get about how the paper turned out, then I was successful. Sometimes I stress out about whether or not other people will like my writing because in the words of Ms. Prokott, I don’t want people to think I have an Ugly Baby. But I’ve realized the writing process is hard and it’s messy and sometimes you end up having an Ugly Baby. Thankfully in writing you don’t have to be born with the genetics to produce a beautifully formed paragraph. You just have to keep writing. No matter what direction your writing is going in, you have to keep going if you ever want to get anywhere. I've learned it's okay to be a dreamer and hope for the best because in the end, you'll always end up where you are supposed to be. Somtimes you just have to set out without a destination and rely on serendipity.

Ask Me If I Like Cheese

Clearly guys and girls think differently. The problem is this can lead to awkward social situations when we try to interact. We both have different interpretations of what our interactions should be like. Guys want simple. Direct. To the point. Girls want to think out every last detail until there is perfect flow.

This can cause girls to get a bit antsy when guys don’t keep up with what we are thinking. Marie Digby expresses this feeling in her song “Stupid for You” saying “The proper thing to do is for me to act like a lady and wait for you to make the first move. But I don’t think you’re getting the point that it’s you that I want.” She recognizes that the lady like thing for her to do is to wait for him to do something. But let’s face it. That could take a lifetime.

Teddy Geiger seems to get this in his song “For You I Will (Confidence).” He talks about mustering up the confidence to tell the girl he likes her. Teddy sings, “Forgive me if I stutter from all the clutter in my head.” He shows us that it isn’t always easy from their end, but he is also putting himself out there by saying “I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have. For you I will.”

In the movie She’s the Man, Viola (who is pretending to be her brother Sebastian) shows her roommate, Duke, how to interact with girls by giving him a “pretend” situation. She tells him that he can talk to her about anything, and if they have chemistry it will just flow. (See we like flow!) So she gives him a fake situation.

Viola: Ask me if I like cheese.

Duke: Um, ok. Do you uh like cheese?

Viola: Why yes I do, my favorite’s Gouda.

 

It seems like the silliest conversation starter. But it doesn’t matter, because it shows that when there is chemistry there it really does just flow. Later when Duke uses this line on another girl, she flat out ignores his question. This is because she wasn’t interested in Duke, she was interested in Sebastian (who is actually Viola).

Colbie Calliat says, “Sometimes the only things words do is get in the way. Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say” in her song “What I Wanted To Say.” In Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman’s “Shy That Way,” they talk about these shy moments. Tristan says, “Though I may not know the right things to say, I’ll get it out to you one day.” Like I said, we think differently, but when we really want to say something, we find a way. 

Things That Really Make My Clock Tick

There are some things that make me really impatient. I feel irritated and frustrated when I'm around these people. They really make my clock tick. 

• Overly judgmental people
• People that constantly complain
• When people don't say what they mean
• When people don't mean what they say
•  People that believe the world will end if they don't get an A
• When people make an awkward situation worse by saying "That was awkward..." (Yeah, we all know it was awkward)
• People that purposely make you feel stupid
• People that lie straight to your face even after you find out the truth
• When people generalize Americans as lazy and unmotivated
• When people don't try in school and then complain about their grades (The assignment is marked as an F because you didn't do it, not because the world hates you.)
• When people argue to earn back a single point
• When someone expects you to say something, but you expect them to say something, so nothing gets said. 

F*** This Bullshit, I Don't Wanna Be A Common Joe

The first time I saw Two Million Minutes, it had a great impact on me. It inspired me to work as hard as I could to ensure a great future for myself. So naturally I dropped Honors Communications a week later...? While English had always been my favorite, I wanted to succeed. Up until my second semester of my sophomore year, I believed that the only way I was going to succeed was if I went into math and science. I mean look at the Indian and Asian students in Two Million Minutes. Math and Science were their life.

 My decision to drop Honors Comm was impacted by my belief that math and science were going to be more important to me in the long run. Even then I knew that was a lie. I have thought about it over and over again since the day I switched. At the time I felt like a complete failure. I felt like the kids they described in “For Once, Blame the Student,” that lacked ambition and motivation.  Academically, I think I made the wrong decision. Personally, I think I made the best decision of my life.

I ended up getting a B+ and a B in math; grades that would have caused the Asian boy in Two Million Minutes to crawl up in a ball in his room. But I had one of the most inspirational math teachers I had ever had in my life. I wasn’t aware one could teach about math and life in the same course. My Communications teacher, Mrs. McIlmoyle, was one of the most incredible story tellers I had ever met in my life.

They were teachers that inspired me change not how high the bar was set, but where the bar was set. I have always cared about school. (Take that Patrick Welsh, this time you can’t “Blame it on the student.”)  I have always had the motivation, but I lacked the understanding of what it takes to get somewhere in life. I should be honest: I am not sure I know where I am going to end up in life. But like Mike Rose, “I Don’t Just Wanna Be Average,” and I have come a long way. He describes many people in “I Just Wanna Be Average” that really didn’t give a shit in Voc. Ed. This reminds me of some of the kids in my regular Comm class. Like Mike, I thought "Fuck this Bullshit, I don't wanna be a Common Joe." Ok maybe I didn't use those words, but I had similar frustrations. Maybe we were in the wrong place at the time, but in both situations I feel it was necessary for where we ended up.

As also shown in “I Just Wanna be Average,” teachers can sometimes be as big of role models as parents. We do spend Two Million Minutes with you guys…. That is enough to impact us and I don’t think Patrick Welsh takes that in to account. Two Million Minutes only speaks with the students and the parents. We NEVER once hear from their teachers. Don’t you think that says something? Teachers spend hours and hours out of their day to shape who we become, academically and sometimes otherwise.

I know I’m not the only American who cares. Our high schools are filled with students loading up on AP classes and devoting their life to getting into a respectable college. There are students in our AP Comp class that spend their ENTIRE day in AP Classes. I wouldn’t call that slacking… Maybe we aren’t spending every last second studying like the Asian and Indian students. But we are living our lives. With only short amount of time on this Earth we are striving to make an impact on this world, while enjoying the time we have here. 

Blogging, Unicycling, and Other Extreme Sports

In a world driven by thrill, we have become very hard to please. People want bigger, better, faster, stronger. We want new toys to excite and entertain us, whether we are five or forty five. The time for innovation and creativity is now. In the last half of a century we have stimulated the desire to create, design, and entertain.

We seek to please. Those who are labeled “People Pleasers” are often seeking to create their own self pleasure with a less direct route of fulfillment. In the business of entertaining this is a very vital concept. Entertainers are meant to bring joy to the audience, but in doing so they are bringing joy to themselves. Arenas, fields, and stadiums are filled with eager sports fans looking to enjoy a game. They are also filled with athletes with their own agenda.

The internet has become a well-known medium for the notion of self pleasure. It is one of biggest, if not the biggest, innovations by mankind. This has created a whole new source of entertainment, as well as a new place for entertainers to perform. The online world of entertainment has created new rhetoric that has become familiar to most people, whether you are a frequent user of the internet or a seldom browser. We have created new verbs such as, “Google it,” or “I just Tweeted…” Social networking has replaced, “Call me,” with “Facebook me.”  We are all familiar with, “Youtubers,” or frequent users of Youtube and those who upload videos. “Bloggers” are those who use blogs as a form of communication. Bloggers seek pleasure in writing about their interests, and reading the most notable blogs. They wish to entertain at the risk of going to the extremes to scream, “READ ME!”

Youtube is the epitome of online pleasure. It is filled with videos of people singing, attempting comedy, showing off their talents, and teaching others how to do what they do best. Every Youtuber is seeking to outshine the other. This is because we are aware that people want bigger, better, faster, stronger. We verge on extreme trying to fulfill our growing desires. Youtube is filled with videos of epic motocross crashes, 360˚ spins on snowboards, and even unicyclers showing off their street skills. Everyone wants their moment to shine, because we all believe we are extremely entertaining. 

Back to School Speech

Obama's speech was to encourage students to make the most of their time in school to create a better future. Several times he brings up the idea that "children are the future." His argument is strong when he puts in young people's minds that they have the ability to affect the future. He uses ethos in the very beginning of his speech in his acknowledgements. Right away he shows you his character when he acknowledges people like the principle and recognizes the high school as one of the best in the nation.

One of the first things I noticed was his pacing. Obama is a very slow but steady speaker. He makes frequent but brief pauses and his speed reflects the tone of his message. His tone is very sincere and friendly. This is a friendly encouragement opposed to a serious message about a topic such as war. This means his facial expressions and body language are more relaxed. His posture is very strong and confident.

Obama uses many gestures while he is speaking. He talks with his hands, and he uses them to emphasize certain points. I noticed he uses lists followed by further explanation. This helps people to organize the information in their minds and understand what he is saying.

He uses logos to tell young people that they can make a difference now and in the future. With this he uses logical appeals to show us what we can do to better the world now. He uses specific examples of young people that have done good deeds and have already been positively affecting society. This is used to encourage other young people to do the same by showing that it is possible. It is as if he is saying, "They have done it, therefore, you can do it too."

One of his examples is about a girl who helped with cancer research. There are people who actually work in cancer research that want to work with her. In his example he uses pathos because of the subject matter. It tugs at your emotions and makes you want to be able to make the same kind of difference. This is also an appeal to your ethics because it shows young people are capable of such things. You feel like you have an obligation to try to improve socitey as well.

At the end of his speech Obama says, "Your country is depending on you." He is using ethos because this is the center of the his argument, and he is telling young people that they should do well because the whole country is depending on them. This is revealing his motives for the speech. It also puts pressure on young people to do well in school because "we are the future." The implication is that if we succeed in school we will succeed in life, and we will have a better nation.

MLK: The Real Batman

Many people complain about the injustices in our world today. We look around and say things like, "What has the world come to?" But we are forgetting how messed up the world has always been. Our history is filled with shameful acts and events. The very men we give praise to for creating history are also the men who were holding society back.

One of the Jim Crow laws is about forbidding the promotion of equality. Martin Luther King Jr., among many other African Americans, wanted to be free from the many injustices of the time. In Letters From Birmingham Jail he explains that he is in Birmingham because of the injustice in Birmingham. Most people would readily flee Birmingham for that very reason. MLK says, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." This is a very compelling part of his argument because it says a lot about the issue in a direct way. It is a concise, yet powerful statement.

The Jim Crow laws are the epitome of the ludicrous judgement our glorious leaders have used to "better" society for hundreds of years. From laws about textbooks to nurses to even lunch counters, they are all making the same argument: white people and black people should be completely separate. By this they also mean white people are superior to black people. Without the influential leaders, such as MLK, progress would have been nearly unattainable. They are the men and women that saved us from ourselves.

Our world is far from problem free, but looking back not only reminds of us what we have done in the past but encourages us to move forward. History holds the memories of many great men and women that have changed the world for the better. They are the real heroes in our story. There will always be people with the same mentality as those who created the Jim Crow laws. But there is promise in the fact that there will always be people like Martin Luther King Jr. to save us from those people.

Eggs

I hate scrammbled eggs.When William Kennedy started talking about his first story about eggs I thought, This story has to be as bland as scrammbled eggs are. There is nothing exciting about scrammbled eggs. I was hoping for a turn around about how his story turned out to be incredible. But considering it was about eggs that was not likely.

His father's reaction to his story was harsh, but he was being honest. Obviously it was what Kennedy needed to hear. I like that he realized it was a stepping stone in his career. Even though "Eggs" was a complete failure, it was a failure that needed to be made. Kennedy needed to fall on his butt before he could pick himself up to be something great.

Kennedy also mentioned Eudoa Welty. He says she once wrote that a writer should write not about what he knows but what he doesn't know about what he knows. I found this interesting because I have always heard that you should write about what you know. Kennedy wrote about eggs because he knew eggs and he knew that everyone else knew about eggs. But he didn't know that he should have included more of a mystery. He said, "The only mystery about 'Eggs' is why I didn't know it was awful." I can relate to that statement. Looking back on some of my earlier writing, I almost feel embarrassed. I wonder how I could have written something so terrible. Now I know that before one can write something worth reading, he has write something worth throwing away.

I used to think that great writers sat down and poured their thoughts onto paper with ease. After two short weeks of reading essays about writing, I have realized that isn't the case. From "Shitty First Drafts" to William Kennedy's essay about eggs, I have learned writing isn't about finding the perfect words from the beginning. Writing is about failing. It is about writing something so bad that it can only better from there. Writing isn't easy and it isn't something any sane person chooses to do on purpose. It is a collection of words pounding on the door inside of you, waiting to be let out and rearranged.

Why I Write

Since I was in third grade, I have had a love for writing. There is nothing that can keep me from doing it. I find time to write whenever possible and jot things down on a regular basis. It is the one thing that keeps me sane but also the one thing that can drive me crazy. I love the way getting everything out there makes me feel. All of my thoughts are suddenly in front of me. It makes it easier to process what I am really thinking.

At times I am driven crazy by my writing. Sometimes I sit there waiting for the right thing to say or the right words to use. Most of the time I realize there are often no perfect words to start with. I throw out whatever I am thinking and in return I get something I am either satisfied with or I ignore it. Usually I do not delete the documents I write, in case I have a sudden realization or inspiration. Looking back on some of my bad writing can help me to improve my writing. I like to look back on what I have written in the past. Whether it is bad or good, it helps me decide where I want to go with my writing.

I write because it keeps me sane. With a busy life and insane amount of homework, I often do not get to stop and actually think about what I am thinking. It sounds funny but so many thoughts pass through my brain, it can often be hard to keep them all straight. I am a hard, dedicated worker, but sometimes that can cause insanity. When I am writing, I am one hundred percent myself and open to my thoughts. Writing is what I turn to, when my mind is too busy to listen.

First Day of School

I wasn't sure what to expect going into the first day of school. While I was excited to get back, I was sad to see summer end. I worked at Rainbow Foods for the first two months of summer. So I only got to relax about the last three weeks. Labor day was definitely the best day of my summer, but I was anxious to see how the first day would go.

I got to stand on Target Field and watch my dad throw out the first pitch of the Twins game on Monday. We even got a picture with T.C. Then we headed straight to the State Fair. My dad's girlfriend got us a backstage tour and free tickets to Maroon 5 and Train from her sister. Maroon 5 is definitely my favorite band. It was unbelievable to Adam Levine just a matter of rows away from me.

While I was trying to fall asleep Monday night, all I could think about was how lucky I was to have such an incredible summer. I hated my job, but everything after it made it worth it. In three weeks, I created memories I will never forget. When I woke up, I was ready to start junior year.