WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A BIG AGE GAP BETWEEN SIBLINGS

Anyone who knows me knows that I adore my little sister. Of course I love my other siblings and the rest of my family. But not much compares to the special bond that I have formed with this sweet little girl, and I think our 15-year age difference has made us even closer. 

We are less likely to fight. 

First of all there are a lot of things that we don't have to worry about fighting over. We can't steal each other's clothes, friends, or boyfriends. She has pretended to steal one of my shirts before, though. I almost let her keep it, because it was so adorable for her to even try to pull that. Every once in a while she will try to pick a fight, but it usually just consists of her telling Mom that I am a "meanie" because I would do something like get her ice cream at that very second. 

I get a mini-me. 

Today I pulled out my computer to work on blog stuff while we were watching TV. Before I knew it, she was plopped down next to me with her toy computer. She put her tiny hand on my knee, and even said, "I'm copying you." They say mimicry is the highest form of flattery, don't they? She kept stealing glances at me to see how I had changed my posture, and she would laugh every time I did--even if what I was laughing about when right over her head. It's a pretty incredible thing influencing a kid this way. It makes you feel pretty special. 

Childhood basically never ends.

So maybe playing toys isn't exactly my idea of a good time. But seeing the light in her eyes when we do play is definitely worth it. My favorite is when she starts to imitate things that she has obviously heard an adult say before. Even when she was two-years-old she would say things playing with dolls that I had heard my mom say to her before. It's so cute to see what really sticks with them and how they re-use it in their own way. Plus, having a little sister means I have an excuse to watch the movies and TV shows that I grew up on again. Someone at work once pointed out that every time we were talking about Spongebob I would always say, "I was watching this one with my little sister, and ..." So what if that little yellow sponge still cracks me up? It's great bonding time with sister. 

It makes me realize I don't want my own children for a very long time. 

I don't understand how people my age have babies--I mean I get how it happens. Obviously the stork got lost on his way to a nice older married couples house. But really, I am so far from being ready to take care of a baby, and having a little sister at this age has been so eye-opening to really how much of a responsibility a child is. As much fun as my little sister is, she whines, cries, and pleads for constant attention--and toys! I could not handle a child right now. I have a hard enough time stressing over things like study abroad and what color I should paint my nails next. Thank God for my little sister. 

She made my dreams come true. 

B.S. (Before Sydney), I prayed for a little sister for years. I cried both times my parents told me that I was going to have a brother. I spent countless hours trying to persuade them to try again or adopt me a sister. Once I even asked my mom if she was lying to me all these years, hoping that I had a twin that they had to give away for mysterious reasons. I would dream about what my little sister would be like, resenting my brothers for their gender, because I so hopelessly wanted a little sister.  I even tried to dress them up as a girls a few times. When my mom first found out she was having another baby, I was furious. I was fourteen, and I knew our lives would change forever. I told her that if it was another boy, I was moving out*. But finding out she was a girl was one of the best days of my life. Since then, some of my best memories of her include the first time she told me that she loved me, and the time she told me that I was her best friend. 

1 year ago!

I love this little girl more than words can express. It has been such a privilege to watch her grow up, and change so much. I can't believe she is already 5-years-old--or that I have a sister that is 5-years-old. Happy birthday, little sis! (Even though she won't be able to read this for a few more years...) 

*Admittedly, that was a bit melodramatic. 

**The two in the picture above are not my only siblings! But that was one of the best recent pictures I could find demonstrating the age gaps. 

What kind of relationship do you have with your siblings? 

7 THINGS I NEVER WANT MY LITTLE SISTER TO FEEL

As a big sister to a 4-year-old, I often think about how much she hasn't experienced. There is so much she has to learn. She is so innocent, and I wish that I could preserve her innocence forever. I know that it sounds cliché, but I feel like I am missing out on so much. It was my choice to go to school away from home, and I knew that I wouldn't get to see my family as much. But no one ever told me how hard it would be to miss so much of your little sister growing up.

I think that's partially because we have such a unique relationship. Not a lot of people have a 15-year age gap with a sibling, but our age difference has brought us closer, because we have a different kind of sisterly bond. In high school, when she was old enough she would run up to me and jump into my arms to greet me when I got home from school. She cried in my arms before I went to college, saying she didn't want me to leave. My mom came into the living room asking why we were both sobbing. And at three-years-old she didn't really understand what it meant for me to go to college, and every time I talked to her on the phone she asked me when I was coming home. She still does sometimes, and it breaks my heart. I wish I could be with her all the time. 

Recently, I was thinking about all of the things I don't ever want her to feel. Here are some of the things I wish she didn't have to experience:

1. The feeling that your dreams are too big. 

Step Up

Your dreams are valid. Your dreams are beautiful. And they are all yours.

Mean Girls

2.  The feeling that you like someone more than they like you. 

New Girl

It isn't always that way. Sometimes love is uneven. There will be times when someone doesn't return the feelings you have, and there will be times when you can't return the feelings someone else has about you. But I would like to think that this happens so that you are ready for when the right person does come around, and neither of you has to question it.

3. The feeling that you are all alone.

One Tree Hill

 There are people that care. Sometimes when you are really upset, you might feel like you have no one to talk to, because no one understand what you are going through. But that's not true. And I want you to know that.

Boy Meets World

4. The feeling like you aren't enough. 

One Tree Hill

You are amazing. And don't believe them when they try to tell you otherwise.

Sara Bareilles

5. The feeling that you need to look a certain way.  

VS

You are so much more than the world will make you think. We live in a world that places way too much value on "beauty" or what they deem as "beautiful." Make your own definition, and forget about the rest of it.

6.  The feeling that people will let you down.

90210

There are people you can count on. It's easy to get caught up in all the bad in the world. There are bad people who do bad things. But there are so many wonderful people in the world, and they have so much to offer and so much love to give.

Grey's Anatomy

7. The feeling of a broken heart. 

Demi Lovato

 I love you more than you know, sis. And you can rant to me about boys any time. But not too soon.

Tina and Amy

More than anything, I want my little sister to know how much I think about her, and how much she means to me. I wish I could prevent her from feeling all of these things, but I know that this is just how life works. So instead, I plan to be there for her to remind her that everything is going to be okay.