I Am Me in N.Y.C.

So you’ve heard the rumors? I wish I could say they were false, but that would be lying. And I’m not a liar. In fact, I’m so truthful it’s obnoxious sometimes. But I don’t see it as rude; it’s just honest. But that’s beside the point. The rumors are true: I am about to be corrupted. Or changed for the better. It really could go either way.

I have been dreaming about the Great City since my mom’s first ultrasound. That little dark spot on the fuzzy screen could already hear the buzzing taxis and see the bright lights. All my life I wondered what it would really be like to stand in Time Square and engulf the city around me. But tomorrow, everything I have been dreaming about all my life will either meet my expectations or leave me sourly disappointed. Given all the hype about it, I highly doubt that it won’t fit the images that I’ve built up in my head. This will also be a good time to see if I could ever truly see myself staying there for a longer period of time.

For a few years, I have had my heart set on NYU. I know how hard it would be to get in, but why not try? These are my dreams we’re talking about, people. Ambition. It sounds like some sexy fragrance, doesn’t it? If it were a perfume, I’d be doused in buckets full of it, because ambition is one thing I have a surplus of. This year I learned to go for my dreams, because if I don’t, who’s going to? A year ago, I wouldn’t have even admitted that I wanted to be a writer. I never want to seem cocky in my dreams, because that isn’t how I feel at all. I struggle every day with my dreams. But now, I’m not afraid to admit that I want to create words and images and movies that inspire people and make them want to go for their dreams. Maybe my thoughts are idealistic, but I’m a lot happier person being idealistic than being afraid to be myself.

It seems I keep turning posts into public journals about how I am not afraid to follow my dreams. That just shows how much I mean it. I am not afraid to be me. 

(New York City in the morning! I couldn't be more excited.)