Have you ever had a dream…?

Have you ever had a dream so big that it both terrifies you and excites you to the point that you think it could grant you absolute happiness? That’s how I felt feel felt feel about film. But when I saw NYU my hopes and dreams changed because my comfort zone shot to the ground. Excitement fills the city but so does dirty people, rodents the size of felines, and the constant scent of melting garbage and urine. I wanted to love the city. In fact, I wanted that I never want to leave this place! feeling.

Unfortunately, I got that I would be ok with leaving this place right now feeling. And I hate that, because going to NYU seemed liked the only way to make my dream possible. USC seems like it, too. But most people say it’s in an unsafe part of L.A., and their standards to get in are huge and terrifying. At this point, I feel totally unsure of what to do. I start applying in a few weeks, and while I’m still thinking about NYU as a choice, if I don’t feel comfortable now, it’s unlikely that I ever will.

Dreams excite you and terrify you at the same time. They are wonderful. But they are also supposed to get the little people in your mind working so that you have ideas about life. And now that I have my ideas, I know that I don’t need to stick to one thing you achieve full happiness. If I don’t work in the film industry someday, it doesn’t mean that there will be an empty part of me always yearning to create movies. I will live—no, I will prosper, and no matter what happens I will be happy, because I create my own happiness. If you have a dream, by all means, go after it. But if the destination looks a little less like the picture in your mind, don’t be turned off by it. Keep going, because the image on the other side might be more than you ever dreamed of.

Now, I’m going to go try to take my own advice.