What do you do with your dreams?

Some Nights (What Do I Stand For?)

Moment of truth: I’m so over the song “Some Nights”. –just like every over played song on the radio right now. But tonight while I’m digging through college scholarships and researching different colleges, one line stuck with me: “What do I stand for? Most nights I don’t know.”

Searching for the right college has been such a ride. I’ve thought of different places across the country, and lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I don’t want to go that far. But I don’t think it has anything to do with how far I’ll be from home. No matter how far I go, I’ll always get back home. But where I go could affect what kind of life I live. I am not sure how much it will affect what kind of person I will be, because I know what I believe in. However, college is such a huge step into becoming an adult that I honestly think it will mold me into whatever kind of person I am really meant to become.

Right now, I am searching for somewhere that will open up many different opportunities for me. But at the same time, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I really put myself out there and went for film. Would I fail? Would I hate the college? Would I get the whole college experience if I went to a school that just focused on the arts? I don’t really know, and I’ve been pulling away from it because I’m scared. I don’t want to make the wrong decision. And I don’t want to waste time and money on something that I probably won’t pursue. But there’s this part of me that screams WHY THE HECK NOT? I have the creativity. I have the brains. I have the drive. And if you don’t think I have what it takes to make it in the industry, then you have completely underestimated what I am capable of.

My right brain and my left brain are completely conflicted. But so are my head and my heart. And with everything in me so confused, the process of applying to college is becoming more and more difficult. 

I really find myself asking "What do I stand for? And what am I willing to do to fulfill my dreams?"

Life's Like a Jigsaw

Today we decided to do a jigsaw puzzle of the New York skyline. Basically, my stepsister got bored after five minutes and I spent the next hour trying to put the bottom together while she played with the puzzle pieces and we talked. But I couldn't help but think about how much like life puzzles are. A few weeks ago, at my great grandpa's funeral, my great uncle (who is also the pastor who gave the ceremony) said how life is like the jigsaw puzzles that my great grandpa spent so much time doing.

My step sister would smoosh two pieces together so well that from the backside they looked like a perfect fit. I would congratulate her, and then I would turn the piece around to set it down. And most of the time, I had to tell her that they didn't fit because the picture didn't look right. She understood, because she knew that she forced them together, but she was still disappointed. So many times in life we try to make things work, just because we want them to turn out in our favor. In her mind, if she could make two pieces fit, it would be an accomplishment. But if the job isn't done right now, we just have to take the pieces apart later and correct the mistake. And I had to explain that if we forced them together, there was a chance that when we pulled them apart they would break because they weren't meant to be next to each other.

Sometimes in life, we have to except when things don't work out, because when we can see the bigger picture, everything is worth it. In this case, it's waiting to see the picture that the puzzle creates. But on a more personal level, I have had many instances where I wanted things to work out, and I was crushed when it was out of my control. When I was ten-years-old, I had to except that my parents were never getting back together. And it sucked. I wanted to make everything better, but I could never seem to find the right pieces. Now that I'm older, I realize maybe my parents were like the close fit that seemed right from behind, but on the other side, they just weren't the right match.

These are the thoughts I've been pondering from my Life in the Lost and Found Bin.

**SPOILER ALERT** Awkward. Relationship Status Update

Basically erase anything thing I said about the relationship status of Jenna, Jake, and Matty. They should now all say It’s Complicated.

And unlike the histrionic posers on Facebook, this situation is actually complicated. Besides Jenna being majorly confused, Jake and Matty just really know how to mess things up with each other. I’m still rooting for Matty, but how can you not feel bad for Jake when his best friend and his girl are still in love with each other? And he never even knew….

This is cute. Watch this. It's like 2 seconds. Or 15...

Awkward (Part 2)

Here are some more characters from my new favorite show, Awkward. Unfortunately, the episodes I wanted to watch weren't working last night. But as soon as I catch up, I will post about changes in relationships. I've heard a lot happens in the episodes that I've missed so far.

But for now, meet the rest of the cast:
Tamara

Grade: Sophomore

Friends: Jenna Hamilton (her best friend), Ming

Relationship status: Obsession with Ricky Schwartz, but he is also into other girls.

Facts: Wants to be popular. Thinks being in red cup photos will make her cool (Newsflash: it's called wasted for a reason. Wasted opportunity in high school to remember all the good times you could be having if you weren't trying to fit in.)

Ming

Grade: Sophomore

Friends: Jenna Hamilton, Tamara

Facts: Her parents are really strict

She feels left out a lot

The Asians told her she wasn’t a smart Asian or a cool Asian, so that meant she was white.

Lissa

Grade: Sophomore

Relationship Status: Single (dumped by Jake for Jenna)

Friends: Sadie

Facts: Head of the abstinence club

Lacy (The Mom)

Relationship Status: Jenna's dad separated from her because she admitted that she was the one who wrote Jenna the nasty letter

Facts: Really into fashion.

Wants Jenna to be pretty and popular.

Kevin (The Dad)

Relationship status: Separated from Jenna’s mom because she wrote the letter.

Facts: Embarrasses Jenna a lot.

Awkward. (Part 1)

The days left of summer are limited. We only have so much time to go the beach, bike around the lake, hang out with friends, sleep until noon, and watch unlimited hours of T.V.—or in my case, online episodes of MTV’s Awkward.

I made it through the first season (12 episodes) in three days of late-night T.V. watching. This show is addicting. I love every single character on this show. Let’s go through a few of them.

Jenna Hamilton (the main character)

Age: 16

Grade: Sophomore
Interests: Blogging (See why I connect with her? Love it)

Relationship Status: In a relationship with Jake Rosati (Lingering feelings for Matty McKibben because she was in love with him first)

Facts: She received a letter in the beginning of the show and had an accident that led people to believe she tried to kill herself.

She hooked up with Matty McKibben at summer camp and felt like he thought he was too good for her in public because he wouldn’t DTR (define the relationship).

Friends: Ming, Tamara
Enemies: Sadie, sometimes Lissa

Matty McKibben

Grade: Sophomore

Relationship status: Single. Trying to win back Jenna.

Interests: Jenna

Jake “Hottie” Rosati

Grade: Sophomore

Relationship Status: In a relationship with Jenna Hamilton (broke up with Lissa because he kissed Jenna and was really into her)

Sadie

Grade: Sophomore

Friend: Lissa

Enemy: Jenna Hamilton

Main phrase: “You’re welcome”

Valerie (the counselor)

Occupation: School guidance counselor (eventually made VP of the school by blackmailing the current one with a tape she had never even seen)

Friends: She thinks Jenna

And there's more! I'll share the rest of my favorite characters from Awkward in a post called Akward. (Part 2). Look out for it. Plus, I have more to catch up on! Go watch Awkward on www.mtv.com. I promise, you won't regret it.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE BEST SHOW OF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CAREER.

Can I have that deep fried on a stick?

The Great Minnesota Get-together offers a variety of food options to meet the likings of any Minnesotan with an appetite. Whether you like your pickles fried or on stick, the State Fair has you covered! And if you’re looking for something deep fried, we’ve got everything you can imagine, from deep fried candy bars to deep fried Catfish tid-bits. But maybe you’re more of a bacon person—don’t worry, you won’t go hungry. Big Fat Bacon, deep fried bacon, and even bacon flavored ice cream are waiting to change the way you look at bacon.

At the Minnesota State Fair, there are three things that you can guarantee:

1. You will find something you want on a stick.
2. You will try something that you think looks gross, and it will become your new favorite thing.
3. You will go home fat.

With so many delicious options, you can’t resist eating a little bit past your comfort zone. And if you’re like any other Minnesotan, you eat so far past being comfortable that even the Sweet Martha’s cookies stop looking appetizing. That being said, you usually come to that conclusion after about the seventh cookie—if you’re lucky, the eighth. Actually, no one bothers to count the number of cookies they eat, because if they did, no one would be able to stomach how much fat they’re consuming. It’s disgusting. But it’s also delicious. There’s a reason everyone’s walking around with bucketfuls of these things.

If your mouth isn’t watering from bringing up the Sweet Martha’s—well, first of all, you’ve either never had them or something’s wrong with you—then I should probably bring up the Fresh French Fries from that big yellow buildings over by the Midway and near the International Bazaar. It’s best to get these fries before you’ve eaten yourself sick, because this year was the first time in a while that I did that, and I almost died.n (From how good they were.) The hot, salty potato made me melt to the ground in satisfaction. Keep in mind, that we’re at the State Fair, and while it’s the first day, the whole place is stinking filthy already. But I couldn’t help it. That first one was the best I’ve ever had. This all may seem dramatic for a fair, but if you’ve ever had one of these fries, you understand that the all the hype about them is warranted.

I want to talk about all the people at the State Fair, but I’m so sick from all the food I ate today that I will just leave you with one image. Nanny McPhee. 

Ten Taylor Tidbits

Everyone has quirks, some more than others. Lately, I've noticed some of the little things that make up my life.

1. I run into the grocery store more than I walk into it because I usually have to get something quickly.
2. I dance in the bathroom with my little sister while I'm getting ready sometimes. It's adorable. 
3. I have had a Fresh Beat Band song stuck in my head before because I have to watch Nick Jr. with my sister so much.
4. Sometimes I think with hashtags—yes, like on twitter #twitterproblems (example of a hashtag)
5. I don't like doing crafts with other people, because I am always disappointed when it doesn't turn out how I envisioned.
6. When my room looks good, I feel good. 
7. Before a Spanish exam, I always think in Spanish the day before to prepare.
8. I can spend all day in the mall and not find anything, because I only buy things I love.
9. I would rather someone compliment my writing than my style. (But who doesn't feel good when someone says they like your new shirt?)
10. I think it's totally awesome that I have the same birthday as Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

The Good Life (AKA Summer Nights)

Summer's the perfect time to do everything that you don't have time to do during the school year. Like have fun. Last Thursday, I got to do one of my favorite things with two of my favorite people. To anyone who knows me well, it's no surprise that I love going to concerts. But I've never gotten to see a musical group or singer in this type of environment so close. 

The Dirty Heads (who I barely knew before and love now) were less than fifteen feet away from us with no one in between us. Tristan Prettyman (who I have loved for years) was the same distance from us singing "My Oh My" about my favorite singer Jason Mraz. The weirdest part is I'm seeing him live on September 16th. I remember being thrilled when I heard they were engaged and disappointed when I heard they broke up. But they sure made good music out of both instances. I will forever love "Shy That Way." Only now I love "My Oh My" and "I Won't Give Up" too. 

Oak on the Water was an absolutely unforgettable experience.\The Dirty Heads. Tristan Prettyman. Summer. Great friends. How much better does it get?

"Embracing Failure, Embracing Change" --From My Teacher

Embracing Failure, Embracing Change

This is something I found from teacher's blog. It's amazing to see people like this communicating different ways to learn. I love it. And I felt the need to share it with more people.

Oops! That's Embarrassing...

For anyone who read "Subway. Eat Fresh—Just Kidding, don’t eat on the subway. That’s gross." I was reading over it and realized I wrote "mediating" instead of "meditating" throughout the entire post... Sorry, that's just embarrassing. I was clearly not paying attention to what I was writing and then proceeded to continue making the mistake by glancing at my first error.

I try to edit my posts before I publish them, but I always edit them after they are published because I notice errors. Thank you to anyone who reads this!

Out With the Old, In with the Bold

I’m making some changes. Sure, I still love serendipity. But life is more than a series of accidents that fall into your lap when you are least expecting them. Life is like playing “Where’s Waldo,” in an ordinary photograph. He may not be there now, but as soon as you find a red sharpie and a spark of creativity, you’ve got gold. Maybe every problem in life can’t be solved with a sharpie and an open mind, but usually our problems aren’t as scary and complicated as we make them seem.

Recently, I’ve been forced to figure out exactly who I am and what I stand for. I have to make colleges want me to be a part of their community, so I have to prove that I’m a great person to have around. And in doing so, I’ve realized I’m a lot more than I thought.

I’m a:

Writer
Sister
Daughter
Friend
Student
Concert-Goer
Reader
T.V. Watcher
Traveler
Volunteer
Creator
Story Teller
Bicyclist
Cupcake Enthusiast
Runner

Car Singer

Of course I’m more than I could think of on the car ride back from buying new shoes, but right now, I am content with my list. I know I promised a post on Washington Square and NYU, but I am still processing what I saw nearly a month ago. I’ll get to it. For now, expect posts about my random thoughts, concerts, summer experiences, anticipation about senior year and college, and trips to Panera.

I have much to tell from Life in the Lost and Found Bin.

Subway. Eat Fresh—Just Kidding, don’t eat on the subway. That’s gross.

My first steps on the subway lived up to my expectations, and believe me, they were extremely low. There were business people. There were dirty people. And there were freaky stay-out-of-my-way-because-I-am-meditating people. The day we saw the meditating freak was when we were headed to see NYU. Normally, I have nothing against people meditating. Do what you have to do, but on the subway? There’s a time and a place for everything, and when you are surrounded by a bunch of people all trying to get where they need to get, attempting to achieve peace of mind is downright stupid. But when I have a real problem is when said person decides to yell at the lady next to him for accidentally rubbing up against him.

“Don’t touch me!” he shouts.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she responds with a look of shock.

Next time, “Mind your own business, and leave me alone!” he says getting even angrier.

She tries to explain that it was an accident because she thought it was her stop, but this doesn’t please him. 

He acts as if everyone should clear the subway so he can meditate. Sorry if public transportation is a little too public for you, dude. Try walking next time. I guess he would only yell at the people on the sidewalk for rubbing elbows with him as he was meditating on the sidewalk.

But the subway wasn’t all bad. I admired everyone reading and listening to their iPods. For some reason, it felt like the real subway experience. I have to say, I was a little disappointed that people didn’t jump out dancing like in Step 2—that was pretty awesome. But a small a cappella group did perform for us one day. They were amazing. All in all, we sure got the New York subway experience.

A Cappella Group

I want to tell you all about Washington Square Park and NYU! Stay tuned for my next post. 

Times^2

Being in the middle of Times Square is both exhilarating and overwhelming at the same time. Your senses are on overload, and you’re not alone. Every tourist has a strained neck and a camera capturing all of the flashing screens. The streets are filled with eager crowds and knock-off dressed-up characters. From Mickey Mouse to Mario and Luigi there are people in costumes waiting to take your money for a quick photo with the kids.

The fun doesn’t end there. They took the shops you loved before and quadrupled them for an even bigger, better experience. The Forever 21 went down two additional levels with the men at the bottom. (It’s about time they’re down there.) For any teenage girl, this store offered a glimpse at heaven, and a terrifying black hole at the bottom of her wallet. The M&M store and Hershey store rival across from each other—both stocked with enough chocolate to make even Willy Wonka sick. Speaking of Wonka, Toys R Us was equipped with an entire Wonka land, Candyland, and of course a Ferris wheel, because what toy store would be complete without an amusement park ride?

The most disturbing part of the evening was by far the naked cowboy and the naked cowgirl that I mentioned in a previous post. Everyone laughed at the cowboy in his underpants taking pictures with people in the street, but we all cringed and tried to get the image of a nearly naked old lady out of our heads.

Times Square was surely an experience I will never forget. One day, I hope I’ll go back to the City That Never Sleeps to see everything I missed on my first trip there.

My next post will include my experience on the NY Subway, and my tour of NYU!